Ner wun’t hev creditors about a-scrougin’ o’ their betters: 
  Jeff’s gut the last idees ther’ is, poscrip’, fourteenth edition,
  He knows it takes some enterprise to run an oppersition;
  Ourn’s the fust thru-by-daylight train, with all ou’doors for deepot,
  Yourn goes so slow you’d think ’t wuz drawed by a last cent’ry
          teapot;—­
  Wal, I gut all on ’t paid in gold afore our State seceded,
  An’ done wal, for Confed’rit bonds warn’t jest the cheese I needed: 
  Nut but wut they’re ez good ez gold, but then it’s hard a-breakin’
          on ’em,
  An’ ignorant folks is ollers sot an’ wun’t git used to takin’ on ’em;
  They’re wuth ez much ez wut they wuz afore ole Mem’nger signed ’em,
  An’ go off middlin’ wal for drinks, when ther’ ’s a knife behind ’em: 
  We du miss silver, jest fer thet an’ ridin’ in a bus,
  Now we’ve shook off the despots thet wuz suckin’ at our pus;
  An’ it’s because the South’s so rich; ‘t wuz nat’ral to expec’
  Supplies o’ change wuz jest the things we shouldn’t recollec’;
  We’d ough’ to ha’ thought aforehan’, though, o’ thet good rule o’
          Crockett’s,
  For ’t ‘s tiresome cairin’ cotton-bales an’ niggers in your pockets,
  Ner ‘t ain’t quite hendy to pass off one o’ your six-foot Guineas
  An’ git your halves an’ quarters back in gals an’ pickaninnies: 
  Wal, ’t ain’t quite all a feller ‘d ax, but then ther’ ’s this to say,
  It’s on’y jest among ourselves thet we expec’ to pay;
  Our system would ha’ caird us thru in any Bible cent’ry,
  ‘Fore this onscripted plan come up o’ books by double entry;
  We go the patriarkle here out o’ all sight an’ hearin’,
  For Jacob warn’t a circumstance to Jeff at financierin’;
  He never ‘d thought o’ borryin’ from Esau like all nater
  An’ then cornfiscatin’ all debts to sech a small pertater;
  There’s p’litickle econ’my, now, combined ’ith morril beauty
  Thet saycrifices privit eends (your in’my’s, tu) to dooty! 
  Wy, Jeff’d ha’ gin him five an’ won his eye-teeth ’fore he knowed it,
  An’, slid o’ wastin’ pottage, he’d ha’ eat it up an’ owed it.

  But I wuz goin’ on to say how I come here to dwall;—­
  ‘Nough said, thet, arter lookin’ roun’, I liked the place so wal,
  Where niggers doos a double good, with us atop to stiddy ’em,
  By bein’ proofs o’ prophecy an’ cirkleatin’ medium,
  Where a man’s sunthin’ coz he’s white, an’ whiskey’s cheap ez fleas,
  An’ the financial pollercy jest sooted my idees,
  Thet I friz down right where I wuz, merried the Widder Shennon,
  (Her thirds wuz part in cotton-land, part in the curse o’ Canaan,)
  An’ here I be ez lively ez a chipmunk on a wall,
  With nothin’ to feel riled about much later ’n Eddam’s fall.