Whenever there is any doubt as to the best way to do a thing, it is wise to follow that which is the most rational, and that will almost invariably be found to be proper etiquette.  To be at ease is a great step towards enjoying your own dinner, and making yourself agreeable to the company.  There is reason for everything in polite usage; thus the reason why one does not blow a thing to cool it, is not only that it is an inelegant and vulgar action intrinsically, but because it may be offensive to others—­cannot help being so, indeed; and it, moreover implies, haste, which, whether from greediness or a desire to get away, is equally objectionable.  Everything else may be as easily traced to its origin in the fit and becoming.

If, to conclude, one seats one’s self properly at table and takes reason into account, one will do tolerably well.  One must not pull one’s chair too closely to the table, for the natural result of that is the inability to use one’s knife and fork without inconveniencing one’s neighbor; the elbows are to be held well in and close to one’s side, which cannot be done if the chair is too near the board.  One must not lie or lean along the table, nor rest one’s arms upon it.  Nor is one to touch any of the dishes; if a member of the family, one can exercise all the duties of hospitality through servants, and wherever there are servants, neither family nor guests are to pass or help from any dish.  Finally, when rising from your chair leave it where it stands.

DINNER GIVING.

THE LAYING OF THE TABLE AND THE TREATMENT OF GUESTS.

In giving “dinners,” the apparently trifling details are of great importance when taken as a whole.

We gather around our board agreeable persons, and they pay us and our dinner the courtesy of dressing for the occasion, and this reunion should be a time of profit as well as pleasure.  There are certain established laws by which “dinner giving” is regulated in polite society; and it may not be amiss to give a few observances in relation to them.  One of the first is that an invited guest should arrive at the house of his host at least a quarter of an hour before the time appointed for dinner.  In laying the table for dinner all the linen should be a spotless white throughout, and underneath the linen tablecloth should be spread one of thick cotton-flannel or baize, which gives the linen a heavier and finer appearance, also deadening the sound of moving dishes.  Large and neatly folded napkins (ironed without starch), with pieces of bread three or four inches long, placed between the folds, but not to completely conceal it, are laid on each plate.  An ornamental centre-piece, or a vase filled with a few rare flowers, is put on the centre of the table, in place of the large table-castor, which has gone into disuse, and is rarely seen now on well-appointed tables.  A few choice flowers make a charming variety in the appearance of even the most simply laid table, and a pleasing variety at table is quite as essential to the enjoyment of the repast as is a good choice of dishes, for the eye in fact should be gratified as much as the palate.