I sent this to D——­, who is going to mail it as if it came from Nice.

I wanted to howl this morning, but it would be too much like the dogs—­I sigh and I laugh, which is amusing.

“Good Heavens,” I said to my aunt yesterday, “do you suppose I could be in love?  What I want is wealth.  If my heart beats, it is when I see superb carriages, magnificent horses; if I am agitated, it is with the longing to have all these things.

“No, Madame, even if I loved any one, the luxury here would cure me very quickly.  You don’t know me, or you pretend not to know me.”

I never spoke more truthfully; my aunt believed me, and began to comfort me; to calculate, to try to have money enough to satisfy my wants.

I worship people when they show good will.  But the line of railroad that leads me to the Duc de H——­ has made a tremendous curve!  Yesterday he suddenly presented himself to my mind, so handsome that I am again completely captivated.

November 19th, 1875.

I have spent a day between L——­ and W——.  It is full of interest, for dress forms an art, a talent, a science!  Finery to this degree of perfection is a treat.

Oh, dear, how tiresome life is when one hasn’t an income of at least 300,000 francs!

I have a dozen gowns made, a few hats, and stop there!  It’s absurd; one ought not to be embarrassed by such things.  Oh, money, money!  I must have it; I’ll take any husband, if he will give it to me.

“And she has such ideas at fifteen,” said my aunt.

“Yes, Aunt; not at fifteen; since I was thirteen—­always.”

“You are crazy,” replied my aunt.

“I think so, too, but what is to be done?”

“If you don’t sleep for ten nights wealth will not arrive any the more; come, go to bed; it’s heartrending, heartrending.”

“Madame, I must be married!”

“To E——?  No, indeed, he doesn’t suit me.”

I have written a lot of nonsense this evening; my ideas are very much confused, and the novel especially.  And every time I talked seriously, my aunt was alarmed.  Whenever I laughed, she laughed too.

Saturday, November 20th, 1875.

For three hours everything in the house has been in a state of revolution, but all the flames were extinguished in a business interview with D——.  With pride and confidence I assure myself that I am the wise head of the household.  I believe that this time all the difficulties are smoothed, unless the matter is upset when I am no longer here.

Sunday, November 21st, 1875.

I want to return to Nice, the longer I stay here, the longer my departure for Rome is delayed.  I spend my time in complaining; my aunt says I am crazy.  I laugh, and so does she.  Life is full of interest.

Monday, November 22nd, 1875.

We went to my beautifiers, and also to B——­’s.  To-morrow we shall decide upon the carriages.  Then I went to see B——­, with whom I always keep up a correspondence.  I spent an hour with her; we are not intimate friends, like young girls, we are mere acquaintances.