With winter will come society, with society, gaiety.  It will not be Nice, but a little Paris.  And the Races!  Nice has its good side.  All the same, the six or seven months which must be spent there seem like a sea I must cross without turning my eyes from the light-house which guides me.  I do not expect to approach, no, I only hope to see this land, and the sole thing which gives me resolution and strength to live until next year.  Afterward!  Really, I know nothing about it!  But I hope, I believe in God, in His divine goodness, that is why I don’t lose courage.  Whoever lives under His protection will find repose in the mercy of the Omnipotent One.  He will cover thee with His wings.  Under their shelter thou wilt be in safety.  His truth will be thy shield, thou wilt fear neither the arrows that fly by night; nor the pestilence that wastes by day!  I cannot express how deeply I am moved and how grateful I am for God’s goodness toward me.

September 12th, 1873.

This morning I made a scene with Mamma and my aunt.  I could stand it no longer, the bottle had to be opened, there was too much gas in it.  I wept.  It lasted two hours and a half.

I asked forgiveness.  Just at that moment some one said that a house on the Rue de France was burning.  I ran to see it.  We were all at the windows.  The carriages were brought from the stables, women came out carrying children.  The building was not yet in flames.  There was a courtyard surrounded by four sheds filled with hay.  The fire flared high, but the people in Nice are always the same.  They do nothing to subdue it, only stand at a distance to enjoy the spectacle.

Oh! if it were in Russia, it would have been extinguished long ago.  Our fire engines are terrible when they are heard a league away, every quarter has one.  The firemen in golden helmets and lots of little bells. (The noise the Duc de H——­’s carriage makes coming from a distance reminds me of the fire engines.)

At last, after half an hour, a cart arrived, dragged by ten men, what a mere nothing!  And four soldiers with guns.

No doubt they were going to extinguish the fire with them!  But it was out before they came.

So I return to what I was saying:  A complete reform in my costume and character, I will become kind, pleasant, gentle.  I will try to be the good genius of the house.

I want to make myself loved and esteemed by every one, from the meanest beggar to the duke and king.  This is the promise I make to God.  Since I desire so great a happiness, I must deserve it.  That is the way I hope to obtain it.

Therefore I make a solemn vow to God that I will do what I say.  If I fail once in my oath, I shall lose everything.  I will address myself to the Holy Virgin and pray her, with Her Son, to guide and protect me.

I rose at five o’clock to-day.  I have worked well, I am satisfied with myself.  How happy we are when we are content with ourselves!  All the rest matters little; we find everything, satisfactory, we are happy.  My happiness depends upon myself.  I have only to study well.