In the whole discussion of this subject it is important to keep in mind that the physical is only one aspect of the sex relation.

In the evolution which sex has shared with all else, the psychic side appears even in the higher animals.  In them the desire is not for mere indiscriminate physical satisfaction, but the element of choice comes in, a factor which sometimes upsets the plans of breeders.  In man this aspect of the relation is all important.  The higher side of sex, or what we may call the psychical secondary sex characters, seem to extend through the whole range of mental and spiritual activities.  Because of this there is freshness of contact in mental and spiritual intercourse between men and women which differs somewhat from that between individuals of the same sex, and very much of the joy of life springs from the impact of these differing yet completing selves the one upon the other.

Where the whole being enters into the union of the sexes the complete joy of marriage is realised, the characteristic of which is that it does not fade, but becomes ever deeper and more fully realised, a sure indication that the highest pleasure of sex union is only attained when it consummates a love which involves mutual sympathy and consideration.  Physical union alone produces dissatisfaction the more quickly in proportion as it is physical only; on the other hand, when all parts of the nature find their counterpart in another, the joy of such intercourse pervades the whole life, and frequent repetition of physical intercourse is not essential to its highest development.

This is well known to all true lovers who have for varied reasons exercised some voluntary self-control in regard to the physical side of sex in marriage, either in deference of the one to the desire of the other, or to avoid too frequent child-bearing, or in special seasons such as Lent.

On the other hand it has been observed by most people that many marriages which seem to promise well, quickly lose even to the eye of the outsider all the romance of the days of courtship.  Is not too frequent physical indulgence sometimes the cause?

Even the time of courtship is spoiled by unrestrained demonstration of affection, and the beauty of the higher side of love is apt to lose its delicate bloom by over accentuation of the physical in marriage; husband and wife sadly admit to themselves that disillusionment has come—­the real truth being that in seeking only physical satisfaction in each other, their eyes have become blinded to those higher qualities which each glimpsed in the other during the happier days of courtship, and the “road of the loving hearts,” which they hoped to tread through life, has been missed because they have forgotten that “man is a spirit and doth not live by bread alone.”