Jones stopped his enterprise that night, but engaged him for servant next day.  I don’t know why, nor does he; but he was right all the same.  Yours ever, Henry.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  M.O. “What’s the matter with you, my man?”

Private.  “Valvular disease of the heart, sir.”

M.O. “My word!  How did you get that?”

Private.  “Last medical Board give it me, sir.”]

* * * * *

    “Will anyone knowing where to obtain the game of ‘Bounce’
    kindly inform A.T.?”—­Advt. in “The Times."

“A.T.” should address himself to the Imperial Palace at Potsdam.

* * * * *

AN ELEGY ON CLOSED STATIONS.

(SUGGESTED BY AN OFFICIAL NOTICE OF THE L. & N.W.R.)

  The whole vicinity of Hooley Hill
  Is smitten with a devastating chill,
  And the once cheerful neighbourhood of Pleck
  Has got the hump and got it in the neck. 
  The residential gentry of Pont Rug
  No longer seem self-satisfied or smug,
  And the distressed inhabitants of Nantlle
  Are wrapped in discontent as in a mantle. 
  Good folk who Halted once at Apsley Guise
  Are now afflicted with a sad surprise,
  While Oddington, another famous Halt,
  Is silent as a sad funereal vault;
  And the dejected denizens of Cheadle
  Look one and all as if they’d got the needle.

* * * * *

AN UNFORTUNATE JUXTAPOSITION.

    “Dr. ——­ has RESUMED PRACTICE.

    ——­ AND ——­, UNDERTAKERS.”

West Australian.

* * * * *

CHARIVARIA.

According to President WILSON Germany also claims to be fighting for the freedom of the smaller nations.  Her known anxiety to free the small nations of South America from the fetters of the Monroe Doctrine has impressed the PRESIDENT with the correctness of this claim.

***

Unfortunately Count REVENTLOW has gone and given away the secret that Germany does not care a rap for the rights of the little nations.  It is this kind of blundering that sours your transatlantic diplomatist.

***

General JOFFRE has been made a Marshal of France.  While falling short of the absolute omnipotence of London’s Provost-Marshal the position is not without a certain dignity.

***

The announcement that the Queen of HUNGARY’s coronation robe is to cost over £2,000 has had a distinctly unpleasant effect upon the German people, who are wondering indignantly how Belgium is to be indemnified if such extravagance is permitted to continue.