Sez I back:  “Here ain’t no slacker,”
    So walks up thar and signs the roll,
  Come June the first, thirty-one year ole,
    Now Uncle Sammy can call Bill Jones
  Jest any ole time they say,
    ’Cause yisterday I gits insured,
  And jined the church today.

  I hates to leave the old home-folks,
    They hates to see me go,
  But I’d rather tote a rifle,
    Than be shoulderin’ a hoe. 
  When Uncle Sammy’s needin’ men—­
    And needin’ ’em so much,
  I ’lows how he can call on Bill,
    To help ’im lick them Dutch. 
  For preacher sez:  “God will protect
    Me out thar,” so, then, by Heck! 
  I am all O.K. 
    ’Cause yisterday I gits insured,
  And jined the church today.

  The paper ’lows the fightin’s bad,
    As awful as can be—­
  Guns a-roarin’—­blood a-flowin’—­
    And boats belo’ thet sea. 
  But I’m ready—­and I ain’t a-feered
    To die—­if they do git me. 
  ’Cause I ain’t no skunking slacker,
    If I am a “Georgia cracker,”
  And if I don’t come home no more,
    The wolf won’t come to my house door,
  I am goin’ when they say,
    ’Cause yisterday I gits insured,
  And jined the church today.

“BEANS”

  A dog there lived in many towns,
    And he has wondrous wiles;
  He travels in the Philippines,
    And visits many isles.

  “Ubiquitous” should be his name,
    He’s seen so many scenes,
  But all his soldier friends prefer
    To call him simply:  “Beans”!

  As a proper, first class passenger,
    Is “Beans” name on ship’s log;
  You’d think his name was pedigreed—­
    The way he “puts on dog”!

  Yet he is not a full blood pup,
    But just a “yellow cur”: 
  A “Nervy-Natty Gentleman”—­
    With all his fuzzy fur.

  He chows awhile at Grande Isle;
    And there he’ll make a stay,
  Until he tires of their mess;
    Then promptly sails away.

  He’ll take a boat down Subic Bay,
    To far Olongapo,
  And when things get monotonous,
    Then “Beans” is prompt-to-go!

  He goes o’er to Corregidor,
    And visits “C.  A. C.” 
  And if he don’t like visiting—­
    He merely sails the sea!

  He visits Fort McKinley,
    And Cavite, too;
  Now, where Beans has not been, forsooth,
    I wish I only knew.

  I know that all the sailors,
    And all the soldier men
  Do call him “Beans,” and love him
    For he is their dandy friend.

  He wags his tail in greeting,
    And barks at friends with joy;
  But when his ship’s a-sailing,
    For Beans, it’s Ship-A-hoy!

  So here’s to “Beans” old “Sea-dog,”
    Who loves so well to roam;
  I wish he’d try to settle down
    And make our place his home.

ADVICE