My regard for him (yet what a poor affected word is regard!) was, nevertheless, as strong as ever.  Generosity, or rather justice, to Clementina, and that so often avowed regard to him, pulled my heart two ways.—­I wanted to consider with myself for a few moments:  I was desirous to clear the conduct that I was to shew on this trying occasion, as well of precipitance as of affectation; and my cousin Reeves just then coming in for something she wanted, I took the opportunity to walk to the other end of the room; and while a short complimental discourse passed between them, ‘Harriet Byron,’ said I to myself, ’be not mean.  Hast thou not the example of a Clementina before thee?  Her religion and her love, combating together, have overturned the noble creature’s reason.  Tho canst not be called to such a trial:  but canst thou not shew, that if thou wert, thou couldst have acted greatly, if not so greatly?—­Sir Charles Grandison is just:  he ought to prefer to thee the excellent Clementina.  Priority of claim, compassion for the noble sufferer, merits so superior!—­I love him for his merits:  shall I not love merits, nearly as great, in one of my own sex?  The struggle will cost thee something:  but go down, and try to be above thyself.  Banished to thy retirement, to thy pillow, thought I, be all the girl.  Often have I contended for the dignity of my sex; let me now be an example to myself, and not unworthy in my own eyes (when I come to reflect) of an union, could it have been effected, with a man whom a Clementina looked up to with hope.’

My cousin being withdrawn, and Sir Charles approaching me, I attempted to assume a dignity of aspect, without pride; and I spoke, while spirit was high in me, and to keep myself up to it—­My heart bleeds, sir, for the distresses of your Clementina:  [Yes, Lucy, I said your Clementina:] beyond expression I admire the greatness of her behaviour; and most sincerely lament her distresses.  What, that is in the power of man, cannot Sir Charles Grandison do?  You have honoured me, sir, with the title of sister.  In the tenderness of that relation, permit me to say, that I dread the effects of the general’s petulance:  I feel next for you the pain that it must give to your humane heart to be once more personally present to the woes of the inimitable Clementina:  but I am sure you did not hesitate a moment about leaving all your friends here in England, and resolving to hasten over to try, at least, what can be done for the noble sufferer.

Had he praised me highly for this my address to him, it would have looked, such was the situation on both sides, as if he had thought this disinterested behaviour in me, an extraordinary piece of magnanimity and self-denial; and, of consequence, as if he had supposed I had views upon him, which he wondered I could give up.  His is the most delicate of human minds.