Well, and don’t you think that we looked like a couple of fools at each other, when we saw ourselves left alone, as I may say, to fight it out?  I did expostulate with him as mildly as I could:  he would have made it up with me afterwards; but, no! there was no doing that, as a girl of your nice notions may believe, after he had, by his violent airs, exposed us both before so many witnesses.  In decency, therefore, I was obliged to keep it up:  and now our misunderstanding blazes, and is at such a comfortable height, that if we meet by accident, we run away from each other by design.  We have already made two breakfast-tables:  yet I am meek; he is sullen:  I make courtesies; he returns not bows.—­Sullen creature, and a rustic!—­I go to my harpsichord; melody enrages him.  He is worse than Saul; for Saul could be gloomily pleased with the music even of the man he hated.

I would have got you to come to us:  that I thought was tending to a compliance; for it would have been condescending too much, as he is so very perverse, if I had accompanied him to you.  He has a great mind to appeal to you; but I have half rallied him out of his purpose.  I sent to you.  What an answer did you return me!—­Cruel Harriet! to deny your requested mediation in a difference that has arisen between man and wife.  —­But let the fire glow.  If it spares the house, and only blazes in the chimney, I can bear it.

Cross creature, adieu!  If you know not such a woman as Grandison, Heaven grant that I may; and that my wishes may be answered as to the person; and then I will not know a Byron.

See, Lucy, how high this dear flighty creature bribes!  But I will not be influenced, by her bribery, to take her part.

LETTER XXXII

Miss Byron.—­In continuation
Tuesday night.

I am just returned from St. James’s-square.

But, first, I should tell you, that I had a visit from Lady Olivia and Lady Maffei.  Our conversation was in Italian and French.  Lady Olivia and I had a quarter of an hour’s discourse in private:  you may guess at our subject.  She is not without that tenderness of heart which is the indispensable characteristic of a woman.  She lamented the violence of her temper, in a manner so affecting, that I cannot help pitying her, though at the instant I had in my head a certain attempt, that makes me shudder whenever I think of it.  She regrets my going to Northamptonshire so soon.  I have promised to return her visit to-morrow in the afternoon.

She sets out on Friday next for Oxford.  She wished I could accompany her.  She resolves to see all that is worth seeing in the western circuit, as I may call it.  She observes, she says, that Sir Charles Grandison’s sisters, and their lords, are very particularly engaged at present; and are in expectation of a call to Windsor, to attend Lord W——­’s nuptials:  she will therefore, having attendants enough, and two men of consideration in her train, one of whom is not unacquainted with England, take cursory tours over the kingdom; having a taste for travelling, and finding it a great relief to her spirits:  and when Lady L——­ and Lady G——­ are more disengaged, will review the seats and places which she shall think worthy of a second visit, in their company.