Thus they ly and tamper upon this first string, till the Child-bed woman begins to enter upon the relating what great pain in travell she had to fetch this Child out of the Parsly-bed, what a difference there was between her, and others of her acquaintance, &c.  Thereout every one hath so much matter, as would make a long-winded sermon; and the conclusion generally is the relating how and when the good man crept to bed to her again; and how such a one had been a fortnight with Child, before she went to receive her churching.  Where upon another comes with a full-mouth’d confession, that her husband was not half so hot.

Do but tarry a little yet, till the Gossipping-bowl hath gone once or twice more about with old Hock; then you’l hear these Parrots tell you other sorts of tales.

In the mean while, do but see the husband, poor Nicholas None-eys how he rejoyces, that his wife is so reasonable strong again; and that she is so neatly trickt up sitting in state in the best furnished room, by the bed-side!  O what a pleasure this is!  O how he treats all the women with delicate Marget Ale, and Sack and Sugar! [unless he begin to bethink himself, and for respects sake or frugality, sets some bottles aside; because he perceives it to be nothing else but a vast expence and womens Apish tricks].  How busie he is in carving for them of his Roast-beef, Capons, Turkey-py, Neats-tongue, or some other savoury bit to make their mouths relish their liquor the better; and then stand fast Bowls and glasses for they resolve not to flinch from it.  And indeed why should he not? for he is now a whole estate richer then he was before; and what need he care for it then.

Well behold here!  Now the womens mouths are a beginning to be first a little warm; and none of them all can be silent, though they should speak of their own Commodities.

O how happy would you be, O Goodman Cully, if you had but as many ears as Argus had eys, that you might hear every where, whilest you are carving and serving of them, what pretty sweet stories and discourses, these sorts of Parrats will be talking of?  For Mistris Sharp-set relates, what a pleasure she oft times received in it, to keep School-time with her husband at noons, as soon as they had feasted their carkasses well:  but that conning of her lesson had caused her severall times to make a journy to the Parsly-bed.

At this Mistris Sincere wonders extreamly; saying how strangely these things happen to one woman more then another.  In our Parish there is a married woman brought to bed, but she was so miserably handled by the Midwife, that no tongue can express it.  Insomuch that Master Peepin the Man Midwife, was fain to be fetcht, to assist with his Instrument; it was a very great wonder that the woman ever escaped it; which is most lamentable indeed to be related; and too sad indeed to be placed by me among the Pleasures of Marriage.