But every thing must have an end.  It is therefore now very meet to speak of removing to some other City.  But let the husband say what he will of travelling by horseback, she is struck on that ear with an incurable deafness.

They must have a Coach to themselves, and the great Trunk must go along with them, or else the whole journy would have no grace.  Neither would it be respect enough for them in the presence of so many good friends and acquaintance, unless the Coach come to take them up at the dore.  And it must be done to.  Here now one is returning thanks for th’entertainment, and the other for their kind visit, and withall wish the young couple that all content, pleasure, and delight may further attend them upon their journy, &c.  Then it is Drive on Coachman, and away fly the poor jades through the streets, striking fire out of the liveless stones, as if Pluto just at the same time were upon the flight with his Proserpina through the City.

But, O new married couple, what price do you little think this mirth will stand you at?  What man is there in the World, that hath ever an eye in his head, but must needs see, that if he tarry out long, this must be the ready way to Brokers-Hall.  Yet nevertheless I confess you must do it, if you intend to have any peace or quietness with your new wife.

These are the first fruits and pleasures of marriage, therefore you must not so much as consider, nay hardly think, of being so long from home, though in the mean while all things there is going also the ready way to destruction; for it is the fashion, at such times, that maid, man, and all that are in your service, to act their own parts; and so merry they are that they possess their own freedom, and keep open Table, that the whole neighbourhood hears their laughter.  Ask the neighbours when you come home, and you will quickly hear, that by them was no thought of care or sorrow; but that they have plaied, ranted and domineer’d so that the whole neighbourhood rung with it; and how they have played their parts either with some dried Baker, pricklouse Tailor, or smoaky Smith, they themselves know best.

Down goes the spit to the fire; the pudding pan prepared; and if there be either Wine, Beer or any thing else wanting; though the Cellar be lockt; yet, by one means or another, they find out such pretty devices to juggle the Wine out of the Cask, nay and Sugar to boot too; that their inventions surpass all the stratagems that are quoted by the Author of the English Rogue; of which I could insert a vast number, but fear that it would occasion an ill example to the unlearned in that study.  Howsoever they that have kept house long, and had both men & maid-servants, have undoubtedly found both the truth and experience hereof sufficiently.  And how many maids, in this manner, have been eased of that heavy burthen of their maidenheads, is well known to the whole World.