Thus they stuff one anothers pates full.  And Mistriss Sayall, and Goody Busiebody, seem to be as if they were sisters cast in one Mould; for the one knows how to blow the simple wenches ears full; and the t’other, worse then a Bawd, makes them cross-grain’d; and keep both of them a school for ill-natured Wenches, and lazy sluts, to natter, to exhort, and to exasperate in; yet these half Divel-drivers, carry themselves before the Mistresses like Saints; but do indeed, shew themselves to be the most deceitfullest cheats, who carry alwaies fire in one hand and water in the t’other.

These know how, very subtlely, many times, to fatten their carkasses, with meat and drink out of the Mistresses Cellars and Butteries; keeping alwaies a fair correspondence with the theevish Maids, which know many tricks and waies how to convey it unto them; and scold and brawl against those whose stoln meat and drink they thus idly and basely convey away.  These use again all possible indeavours to recommend them here or there to a sweetheart, and make their own houses serve as an Exchange for this Negotiation; where they appear as precise at their hours, as a Merchant doth at Change-time.

This it is, that makes them look like a Dog in a halter, when they cannot get leave on Sundaies to go a gadding; and it is a wonder they do not bargain for it when they hire themselves:  though there are some that are not ashamed, (who dare not so openly confess this) to bargain that they may go every Sunday to Church, as if they were extraordinary devout, when it is really to no other end, then to set out their gins, to catch some Tailor, Baker, Shoomaker, Cooper, Carpenter, Mason, or such like journyman:  which is hardly passed by to satisfie their fleshly lusts, before they perceive that they have chosen a poor and wretched for a plentifull livelihood; and are often, by their husbands, beaten like Stockfish, though Lent be long past.  But what delight they have, in being curried with this sort of five-tooth’d Comb, the neighbours can judge by the miserable songs they sing.

These find also the Pleasures of Marriage, at which they have so long aimed, and so much indeavoured for; and would now gladly lick their fingers at that which they have many times thrown away upon the Dunghills, or in the Kennels; falling many times into deplorable poverty, or to receive Alms from the Churchwardens and charitable people; of which there are vast numbers of examples, too lamentable and terrible to be related.

By this small relation you may see what kind of points these sort of people have upon their Compass.  But to write the true nature and actions of such Rubbish, were to no other purpose then to foul a vast quantity of paper with a deal of trash and trumpery.  For many are damnably liquorish tooth’d, everlasting Tattlesters, lazy Ey-servants, salt Bitches, continual Mumblers out of their Pockets, wicked Scolds, lavish Drones, secret Drinckers, stifnecked Dunces, Tyrants over Children, Stinking Sluts, Mouldy Brain’d trugs; hellish sottish Gipsies; nay and sometimes both Whorish and Theevish; and must, therefore, not have come into consideration here, if they did not so especially belong to the disconsolations of Marriage; occasioning many times more troubles and disquiets in a Family, then all the rest of the adversities that may befall it.