The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 240 pages of information about The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682).

The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 240 pages of information about The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682).

But, O triumphant Lover, let not however your joyfull mind run too much upon these glistering things:  be a little moderate in your desired pleasures, if it might happen that there come some cross-grain’d obstructions; for I have oftentimes seen, that all those suspected roses, come forth with many pricking thorns; insomuch that the mouth which at first was saluted with so many thousand kisses, and appear’d as if it had been cover’d with the dew of heaven; was compared to be the jaws of Cerberus.  And those breasts, which before were the curded Nacter-hills, and called the Banket of the Gods, I have seen despised to be like stinking Cows-Udders, I, and call’d worse names to boot.  Be therefore, (I say) somewhat moderate and prudent, for fear it might happen that the prices of this market might fall very suddenly, though perhaps not so horribly.

Nevertheless you have great reason to be merry, for this week, ’tis hop’d there’l be a meeting to close up the match; and it is requisite, that you should go unto all the friends, that must be present at the meeting, to hear when their occasions will permit them, and what day and hour they will appoint to set upon the business, herewith you have work to traverse the City, and who knows whether you’l find half of them at home.  And then those that you do find, one is ready to day, another to morrow, a third next day, or in the next week.  So that by this first Pleasure, you have also a little feeling of the first trouble.  Which, if you rightly consider, is to your advantage, because you may the better use your self to the following.  And of how greater State and Quality the person is whom you have chosen, so accordingly this trouble generally happens to be more.

But the mirth increases abundantly; when, after your indeavours, troubles and turmoils, you finally see all the friends met together, and you doubt not but the match will be closed and agreed upon.  But be here also a little moderate in your mirth, because oftentimes the friends handle this matter like a bargaining; and will lay the mony bags of each side in a balance, as you may see by the Plate.

In the mean while you may be kissing and slabbering of your Mistris in the next room; or contriving what’s to be done about the marriage, and keeping of the Wedding; but perhaps, through the discord of the friends, it will not be long before you are disturb’d; the differences oft rising so high, that the sound thereof, clatters through the Walls, into the ears of the Lovers.  For many times the Portion of one is too great, and what’s given with the other is too little; or that the Parents of the Bridegroom, promise too little with their Son; and the Brides Parents will give too little with their Daughter.  Or else that by some subtle Contract of Matrimony, they indeavour to make the goods of each side disinheritable, &c.  So that it appears among the friends, as if there could be nothing don in the matter.

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The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.