But who knows, what wonderfull students tricks, before he is half so perfect, your son will have learnt, to make his Father and Mother merry with; for, as I have heard, he hath gotten so much aquaintance, that he hath the Bookseller to be his friend, who sets down the prizes of the Books he delivers, three times as much again as they are worth; and for the overplus, he, with some other students, are bravely merry together.

Yea, he’s come so far himself, that he doth, to get mony, know how to sell his best Authors; and sets in place of them some Blocks very neatly cut and coloured like gallant Books.  And if any one comes that will lay their hands upon them; he saith immediately, eat, drink, smoke and be merry to your hearts content; but whatsoever you do, touch not my books; for that’s as a Medean Law and an inviolable statute in my Chamber; as it doth, to the same purpose, stand written thus before my Chamber of Books: 

    Be jolly, sing, and dance; command me with a look,
    One thing I do forbid, you must not touch a Book.

The old Proverb saith, it must bend well, before it can make a good hook.  But it is easie to be perceived by the beginning, what may be expected from the flexibility of this precious twig.  O extraordinary and magnificent pleasure for the Parents, when they see that their son, in so short a time, is so damnably advanced!  And so much the more, a little while after, there comes one and tells them by word of mouth, that there were several Schollars, which were playing some antick tricks in the night; and amongst some others both their Son and their Cousin were apprehended, and at this very present sad accusations were brought in against them.  In the mean while, the Chancellor, having heard that they are all persons of good Parentage, and that there will be brave greasing in the case, laughs in his fist because such things as those are generally moderated and assopiated by the means and infallible vertue of the correcting finger hearb.

This brings the Parents a fine Bartholomew Baby to play with; and if there ly loosely in a corner a fifty pound bag they will go nigh to see how they may make use of it.  And this gives a horrible augmentation to the Pleasures of Marriage!  But let them turn it and wind it which way they will, the Parents must go thither, and seek by all means possible according to their ability, to pacific the matter.

As they are upon their journy, they hear in every Town where they come, how debauched and wicked lives the Students leads, not only concerning that which was lately done at Oxford, but at other places also.  Which makes them be in no small fear, whether their son, perhaps may not be guilty only of this, but some worser misdemeanor, and is therefore at present clapt up.