The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 240 pages of information about The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682).

The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 240 pages of information about The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682).

But a pretty while after, the goodman being in the market, buies a couple of delicate Pullets, and sends them home with a Porter; but the Wife told him she had made ready somthing else, and had no need of them; therefore, let him say what he would, made him bring them back again:  The good man meeting with the Porter, and perceiving the cross-grainedness of his wife, sends them to a Tavern to be made ready, and gets a friend or two along with him to dispatch them, and dript them very gallantly with the juice of Grapes.  At this, when he came home, his wife grin’d, scolded, and bawl’d; yet done it was, and must serve her for a future example.  And she on the contrary persisting in her stif-necked ill nature, made a path-road for the ruine of her self and family, because he afterwards, to shun his wife, frequented more then too much Taverns and Alehouses, and gave the breeches solely to his wife.

Not long ago, just in the like manner, there married an indifferent handsom Gentlewoman, with a proper, handsom, honest and good natured Gentleman; but the Gentlewoman imagining her self to be as wise as a Doctor, acted the part of a Domineerer, controuling, grumbling and chiding at all whatsoever he did; insomuch that all his sweet expressions could no waies allay her; but rather augmented her rage; yea insomuch that at last she saluted him with boxes and buffettings.  But he seeing that no, reasons or perswasions would take place, and that she grew the longer the more furious, locks the dore to, and catches her by the coif, instructing her with such a feeling sence, that at last she got open a window and leaps out, thereby escaping the remaining part of that dance.  Away she flies immediately to her Father and her Brother, but they, very well knowing her ill-natured obstinacy, both denied her houseroom.  Yet the next day, through the intercession of others, there was a pacification made and a truce concluded on, which did not long continue so.  For she, beginning again her former wicked actions, made him run to the Tavern there to allay his disturbed sences, leaving her to wear the Breeches.  But now they are rid of mony, credit, respect, and every thing else.

Another Gentlewoman of late daies, seeing that she had married a good mild-natured husband, that was not guilty of any vice, exercised her authority and wickedness so much the more over him; yea so far, that in the presence of several neighbors she oftentimes knockt, thumpt, and cudgelled him; that at last she was called by every one The incarnate Divel.  But he, after some years of suffering this martyrdom, hapning to dy, there comes another Lover very suddenly to cast himself away upon this Hellish peece of flesh; but she had of him, being a just punishment, such a beloved, that he thunderd her three times as bad about, as she did her first husband; and then flew Pots, Kans and Glasses ringling and gingling along the flore, and she on the top of them, well and warm

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The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.