the other, she ever waits upon her lord, serves his food for him, and faithfully sits up for him at night, however late his return may be; in the one, the wife is justified in resenting any unfaithfulness or immorality on the part of her husband; in the other, she is commanded to accept with patience whatever he may do, however many concubines he may have in his home or elsewhere; and however immoral he may be, she must not be jealous.  The following characterization of the women of Japan is presumably by one who would do them no injustice, having himself married a Japanese wife (the editor of the Japan Mail).

“The woman of Japan is a charming personage in many ways—­gracious, refined, womanly before everything, sweet-tempered, unselfish, virtuous, a splendid mother, and an ideal wife from the point of view of the master.  But she is virtually excluded from the whole intellectual life of the nation.  Politics, art, literature, science, are closed books to her.  She cannot think logically about any of these subjects, express herself clearly with reference to them, or take an intellectual part in conversations relating to them.  She is, in fact, totally disqualified to be her husband’s intellectual companion, and the inevitable result is that he despises her."[J]

In face of all these facts, it is evident that the emotional element of character which plays so large a part in the relation of the sexes in the West has little, if any, counterpart in the Far East.  Where the emotional element does come in, it is under social condemnation.  There are doubtless many happy marriages in Japan, if the wife is faithful in her place and fills it well; and if the master is honorable according to the accepted standards, steady in his business, not given to wine or women.  But even then the affection must be different from that which prevails in the West.  No Japanese wife ever dreams of receiving the loving care from her husband which is freely accorded her Western sister by her husband.[K]

I wish, however, to add at once that this is a topic about which it is dangerous to dogmatize, for the customs of Japan demand that all expressions of affection between husband and wife shall be sedulously concealed from the outer world.  I can easily believe that there is no little true affection existing between husband and wife.  A Japanese friend with whom I have talked on this subject expresses his belief that the statement made above, to the effect that no Japanese wife dreams of receiving the loving care which is expected by her Western sister, is doubtless true of Old Japan, but that there has been a great change in this respect in recent decades; and especially among the Christian community.  That Christians excel the others with whom I have come in contact, has been evident to me.  But that even they are still very different from Occidentals in this respect, is also clear.  Whatever be the affection lavished on the wife in the privacy of the home, she does not receive in public the constant evidence of special regard and high esteem which the Western wife expects as her right.