This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn.  It is all for envy of this tale’s reputation that the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they too tell of an evening, “Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of the Baker”; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous.  Yet it lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle tale, and shares with “The Wars of the Elves,” the Calf-butcher’s tale, and “The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose,” which is the tale of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority.

But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in the Milkmen’s Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn.

You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity.  Consider of how many it is the bane.  Would you to gratify this tear away the mystery from the Milkmen’s Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of Milkmen?  Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four hundred years?  Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings.  And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale.  For the proper place is only the Milkmen’s Hall and the proper occasion only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of the milkmen.  And the long candles would burn lower and lower and gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of ominous sparks when each milkman’s face looks fearful to his fellow, you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn.