THE PLEASURES OF A SINGLE LIFE

Or, The Miseries of Matrimony

Occasionally Writ Upon the many divorces lately Granted by Parliament.

With the Choice,
or, the Pleasures of a Country-life.

Dedicated to the Beaus against the next Vacation.

London:  Printed and Sold by H.  Hills, in Black-fryars, near the Water-side. 1709. Price One Penny.

Wedlock, oh!  Curs’d uncomfortable State,
Cause of my Woes, and Object of my hate. 
How bless’d was I?  Ah, once how happy me? 
When I from those uneasie Bonds were free;
How calm my Joys?  How peaceful was my Breast,
Till with thy fatal Cares too soon opprest,
The World seem’d Paradice, so bless’d the Soil
Wherein I liv’d, that Business was no Toil;
Life was a Comfort, which produc’d each day
New Joys, that still preserv’d me from decay,
Thus Heav’n first launch’d me into pacifick Seas,
Where free from Storms I mov’d with gentle Breeze;
My Sails proportion’d, and my Vessell tite, }
Coasting in Pleasures-Bay I steer’d aright, }
Pallac’d with true Content, and fraighted with delight }

Books my Companions were wherein I found
Needful Advice, without a noisy Sound,
But was with friendly pleasing silence taught,
Wisdom’s best Rules, to fructify my Thought,
Rais’d up our Sage Fore-fathers from the dead, }
And when I pleas’d, invok’d them to my Aid, }
Who at my Study-Bar without a Fee would plead:  }
Whilst I Chief Justice sat, heard all their Sutes,
And gave my Judgment on their learn’d Disputes;
Strove to determine ev’ry Cause aright,
And for my Pains found Profit and Delight,
Free from Partiality; I fear’d no blame,
Desir’d no Brib’ry, and deserv’d no Shame,
But like an upright Judge, grudg’d no Expence
Of time, to fathom Truth with Diligence,
Reading by Day, Contemplating by Night,
Till Conscience told me that I judg’d aright,
Then to my Paper-World I’d have recourse,
And by my Maps run o’er the Universe;
Sail round the Globe, and touch at every Port,
Survey those Shoars where Men untam’d resort,
View the old Regions where the Persian Lord
Taught Wooden Deities first to be Ador’d,
Ensnar’d at last to Sacrifice his Life
To the base Pride of an Adult’rous Wife,
And where the Grecian Youth to Arms inur’d. }
The hungry Soil with Persian Blood manur’d, }
Where bold Busephilus brutal Conduct show’d, }
The force of monstrous Elephants withstood,
And with his Rider waded through a purple Flood.