The question next arises:  should it be the mother or the father who gives this instruction?  As regards the earlier part of the instruction a confident reply can be made to this question.  The information should be given by the parent whose relations with the child are the more intimate and tender, and whose influence over him is the greater.  This will, of course, usually be the mother.  The subject of paternity may, if reserved for future treatment, be appropriately given by the father, provided that he and his son are on really intimate terms.  If timely warning is given to a child about playing with his private parts, no reference need be made to self-abuse until a boy leaves home for school, or until he is nearing the age of puberty.

There are many mothers whose insight and tact will enable them to approach these questions in the best possible way and to say exactly the right thing.  There are others—­a large majority, I think—­who would be glad of guidance, and there are not a few who would certainly leave the matter alone unless thus guided.  It was mainly to assist parents in this work that I published last year a pamphlet entitled Private Knowledge for Boys.[D] This embodies just what, in my opinion, should be said to an intelligent child, and it has, in my own hands, proved effective for many years past.  In the case of young children the teaching should certainly be oral, provided that the mother knows clearly what to say, has sufficient powers of expression to say it well, and can talk without any feeling of embarrassment.  Unless these conditions co-exist I recommend the use of a pamphlet.  As I have found that children often do not know what one means by the “private parts,” I make this clear at the outset.

[Footnote D:  To be obtained post free for nine stamps from Mr. M. Whiley, Stonehouse, Glos.]

Some into whose hands this book may come and who have boys of twelve and upwards to whom they have never given instruction, may possibly be glad of advice as to the manner in which the subject can best be dealt with in their case.  For boys of this age, I am strongly of opinion that it is better in most cases to make use of a pamphlet than to attempt oral instruction.  Probably they already have some knowledge on the subject; possibly some sense of guilt.  If so, it will be found very difficult to treat the matter orally without embarrassment—­a thing to be avoided at all costs.  I was interested to find that on receipt of my pamphlet Professor Geddes—­one of the greatest experts on sex—­placed it at once in the hands of his own boy, a fact from which his opinion on the relative merits of oral and printed instruction can easily be inferred.