“Mere substitutions of sounds for inexplicable meanings, my lord.  In some things science cajoles us.  Now, what is undeniable of the Polyp some physiologists analogically maintain with regard to us Mardians; that forasmuch, as the lining of our interiors is nothing more than a continuation of the epidermis, or scarf-skin, therefore, that in a remote age, we too must have been turned wrong side out:  an hypothesis, which, indirectly might account for our moral perversities:  and also, for that otherwise nonsensical term—­’the coat of the stomach;’ for originally it must have been a surtout, instead of an inner garment.”

“Pray, Azzageddi,” said Media, “are you not a fool?”

“One of a jolly company, my lord; but some creatures besides wearing their surtouts within, sport their skeletons without:  witness the lobster and turtle, who alive, study their own anatomies.”

“Azzageddi, you are a zany.”

“Pardon, my lord,” said Mohi, “I think him more of a lobster; it’s hard telling his jaws from his claws.”

“Yes, Braid-Beard, I am a lobster, a mackerel, any thing you please; but my ancestors were kangaroos, not monkeys, as old Boddo erroneously opined.  My idea is more susceptible of demonstration than his.  Among the deepest discovered land fossils, the relics of kangaroos are discernible, but no relics of men.  Hence, there were no giants in those days; but on the contrary, kangaroos; and those kangaroos formed the first edition of mankind, since revised and corrected.”

“What has become of our finises, or tails, then?” asked Mohi, wriggling in his seat.

“The old question, Mohi.  But where are the tails of the tadpoles, after their gradual metamorphosis into frogs?  Have frogs any tails, old man?  Our tails, Mohi, were worn off by the process of civilization; especially at the period when our fathers began to adopt the sitting posture:  the fundamental evidence of all civilization, for neither apes, nor savages, can be said to sit; invariably, they squat on their hams.  Among barbarous tribes benches and settles are unknown.  But, my lord Media, as your liege and loving subject I can not sufficiently deplore the deprivation of your royal tail.  That stiff and vertebrated member, as we find it in those rustic kinsmen we have disowned, would have been useful as a supplement to your royal legs; and whereas my good lord is now fain to totter on two stanchions, were he only a kangaroo, like the monarchs of old, the majesty of Odo would be dignified, by standing firm on a tripod.”

“A very witty conceit!  But have a care, Azzageddi; your theory applies not to me.”

“Babbalanja,” said Mohi, “you must be the last of the kangaroos.”

“I am, Mohi.”

“But the old fashioned pouch or purse of your grandams?” hinted Media.

“My lord, I take it, that must have been transferred; nowadays our sex carries the purse.”

“Ha, ha!”