“Still, I’ll say for that most esteemable lady, that Missis Rucker never lays for Bowlaigs or assaults him ontil one afternoon when he catches the dinin’-room deserted an’ off its gyard an’ goes romancin’ over, cat-foot an’ surreptitious, an’ cleans up the tables of what chuck has been placed thar in antic’pation of supper.  The first news Missis Rucker has of the raid is when Bowlaigs gets a half-hitch on the tablecloth an’ winds up his play by yankin’ the entire outfit of spoons, tin plates an’ crockery off onto the floor.  It’s then Missis Rucker sallies from the kitchen an’ puts Bowlaigs to flight.

“Bowlaigs, who’s plumb scared, comes lumberin’ over to the Red Light an’ puts himse’f onder our protection.  Enright squar’s it for him; for when Missis Rucker appears subsequent with a Winchester an’ a knife an’ gives it out cold she’s goin’ to get Bowlaig’s hide an’ tallow an’ sell ’em to pay even for that dinin’-room desolation of which he’s the architect, Enright counts up the damage an’ pays over twenty-three dollars in full settlement.  Does Bowlaigs know it?  You can gamble the limit he knows it; for all the time Missis Rucker is prancin’ about the Red Light denouncin’ him, he secretes himse’f, shiverin’, behind the bar; an’ when that lady withdraws, mollified an’ subdooed by the money, he creeps out, Bowlaigs does, an’ cries an’ licks Enright’s hand.  Oh, he’s a mighty appreciative b’ar, pore Bowlaigs is; but his nerves is that onstrung by the perils he passes through with Missis Rucker it takes two big drinks to recover his sperits an’ make him feel like the same b’ar.  It’s Texas Thompson who buys the drinks: 

“‘For I, of all gents, Bowlaigs,’ says Texas, as he invites the foogitive to the bar, ’onderstands what you-all’s been through.  It may be imagination, but jest the same thar’s them times when Missis Rucker goes on the warpath when she reminds me a lot of my divorced Laredo wife.’  With that Texas pours a couple of hookers of Willow Run into Bowlaigs, an’ the latter is a heap cheered an’ his pulse declines to normal.

“It’s rum, however, which final is the deestruction of Bowlaigs, same as it is of plenty of other good people who would have else lived in honour an’ died respected an’ been tearfully planted in manner an’ form to do ’em proud.

“Excloosive of that casooalty which marks his wind-up, an’ which he combines with Major Ben to commit, thar’s but one action of Bowlaigs a enemy might call a crime.  He does prounce on a mail bag one evenin’ when the post-master ain’t lookin’, an’ shore rends an’ worrits them letters scand’lous.

“Yes, Bowlaigs gets arrested, an’ the Stranglers sort o’ convenes informal to consider it.  I allers remembers that session of the Stranglers on account of Doc Peets an’ Colonel William Greene Sterett entertain’ opp’site views an’ the awful language they indulges in as they expresses an’ sets ’em forth.