TAKE THE MATTER IN YOUR OWN HANDS

Of course, my dear Cynthia, it is better to simplify your own life than to have some one else do it for you.  The Kaiser, for instance, has had his career greatly simplified, but hardly in a way he himself would have chosen.  The first thing to do is to come to a clear understanding of (and to let your employer know you understand) the two principles that underlie modern business.  There are only two kinds of affairs that are attended to in an office.  First, things that absolutely must be done.  These are often numerous; but remember, that since they have to be done, if you don’t do them some one else will.  Second, things that don’t have to be done.  And since they don’t have to be done, why do them?  This will simplify matters a great deal.

FURTHER SUGGESTIONS

The next thing to do is to stop answering letters.  Even the firm’s most persistent customers will cease troubling you by and bye if you persist.  Then, stop answering the telephone.  A pair of office shears can sever a telephone wire much faster than any mechanician can keep it repaired.  If the matter is really urgent, let the other people telegraph.  While you are perfecting this scheme look about, in a dignified way, for another job.  Don’t take the first thing that offers itself, but wait until something really congenial appears.  It is a good thing to choose some occupation that will keep you a great deal in the open air, preferably something that involves looking at shop windows and frequent visits to the receiving teller at the bank.  It is nice to have a job in a tall building overlooking the sea, with office hours from 3 to 5 p.m.

HOW EASY, AFTER ALL!

Many people, dear Cynthia, are harassed because they do not realize how easy it is to get out of a job which involves severe and concentrated effort.  My child, you must not allow yourself to become discouraged.  Almost any job can be shaken off in time and with perseverance.  Looking out of the window is a great help.  There are very few businesses where what goes on in the office is half as interesting as what is happening on the street outside.  If your desk does not happen to be near a window, so much the better.  You can watch the sunset admirably from the window of the advertising manager’s office.  Call his attention to the rosy tints in the afterglow or the glorious pallor of the clouds.  Advertising managers are apt to be insufficiently appreciative of these things.  Sometimes, when they are closeted with the Boss in conference, open the ground-glass door and say, “I think it is going to rain shortly.”  Carry your love of the beautiful into your office life.  This will inevitably pave the way to simplification.

ENVELOPES WITH LOOP HOLES

And never open envelopes with little transparent panes of isinglass in their fronts.  Never keep copies of your correspondence.  For, if your letters are correct, no copy will be necessary.  And, if incorrect, it is far better not to have a copy.  If you were to tell me the exact nature of your work I could offer many more specific hints.