THE TRUTH AT LAST

AN EXTRACT FROM MARTHA WASHINGTON’S DIARY

[Illustration]

Feb. 22, 1772.  A grate Company of Guests assembled at Mt Vernon to celebrate Gen’l Washington’s Birthdaye.  In the Morning the Gentlemenn went a Fox hunting, but their Sport was marred by the Pertinacity of some Motion Picture menn who persewd them to take Fillums and catchd the General falling off his Horse at a Ditch.  In the Evening some of the Companye tooke Occasion to rally the General upon the old Fable of the Cherrye Tree, w’ch hath ever been imputed an Evidence of hys exceeding Veracity, though to saye sooth I never did believe the legend my self.  “Well,” sayes the General with a Twinkle, “it wolde not be Politick to denye a Romance w’ch is soe profitable to my Reputation, but to be Candid, Gentlemenn, I have no certain recollection of the Affaire.  My Brother Lawrence was wont to say that the Tree or Shrubb in question was no Cherrye but a Bitter Persimmon; moreover he told me that I stoutly denyed any Attacke upon it; but being caught with the Goods (as Tully saith) I was soundly Flogged, and walked stiffly for three dayes.”

I was glad to heare the Truth in this matter as I have never seen any Corroboration of this surpassing Virtue in George’s private Life.  The evening broke up in some Disorder as Col Fairfax and others hadd Drunk too freely of the Cock’s Taile as they dub the new and very biting Toddy introduced by the military.  Wee hadd to call a chirurgeon to lett Blood for some of the Guests before they coulde be gott to Bedd, whither they were conveyed on stretchers.

FIXED IDEAS

It is said that a Fixed Idea is the beginning of madness.

Yet we are often worried because we have so few Fixed Ideas.  We do not seem to have any really definite Theory about Life.

* * * * *

We find, on the other hand, that a great many of those we know have some Guiding Principle that excuses and explains all their conduct.

* * * * *

If you have some Theory about Life, and are thoroughly devoted to it, you may come to a bad end, but you will enjoy yourself heartily.

* * * * *

These theories may be of many different kinds.  One of our friends rests his career and hope of salvation on the doctrine that eating plenty of fish and going without an overcoat whenever possible constitute supreme happiness.

* * * * *

Another prides himself on not being able to roll a cigarette.  If he were forced, at the point of the bayonet, to roll a fag, it would wreck his life.

* * * * *

Another is convinced that the Lost and Found ads in the papers all contain anarchist code messages, and sits up late at night trying to unriddle them.