GULLIVER SEIZES THE ENEMY’S FLEET

By Jonathan Swift

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty, Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) of private affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant.  He ordered his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hour’s audience; which I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal merits, as well as the many good offices he had done me during my solicitations at court.  I offered to lie down, that he might the more conveniently reach my ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during our conversation.  He began with compliments on my liberty; said he might pretend to some merit in it; but, however, added, that if it had not been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon.  “For,” said he, “as flourishing a condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labor under two mighty evils:  a violent faction at home, and the danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad.  As to the first, you are to understand that for above seventy moons past there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of Tramecksan and Slamecksan, from the high and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves.  It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution; but, however this may be, his majesty hath determined to make use of only low heels in the administration of the government and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe:  and particularly that his majesty’s imperial heels are lower at least by a drurr than any of his court [drurr is a measure about the fourteenth part of an inch].  The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they will neither eat nor drink nor talk with each other.  We compute the Tramecksan, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is wholly on our side.  We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least, we can plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his gait.  Now, in the midst of these intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty.  For as to what we heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars; because it is certain that an hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty’s dominions; besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no mention of any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and