There was an Old Person of Tartary,
    Who divided his jugular artery;
    But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, “Oh, my life! 
    Your death will be felt by all Tartary!”

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
    Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
    But they said, “It’s absurd to encourage this bird!”
    So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.

    [Illustration]

    There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
    When they cried, “Weedon Station!” she made no observation,
    But thought she should go back to Sweden.

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Person of Chester,
    Whom several small children did pester;
    They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
    And displeased that Old Person of Chester.

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Man of the Cape,
    Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
    Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
    Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Person of Burton,
    Whose answers were rather uncertain;
    When they said, “How d’ ye do?” he replied, “Who are you?”
    That distressing Old Person of Burton.

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Person of Ems
    Who casually fell in the Thames;
    And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
    That unlucky Old Person of Ems.

    [Illustration]

    There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
    Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
    She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
    Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.

    [Illustration]

    There was a Young Lady of Poole,
    Whose soup was excessively cool;
    So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
    That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Lady of Prague,
    Whose language was horribly vague;
    When they said, “Are these caps?” she answered, “Perhaps!”
    That oracular Lady of Prague.

    [Illustration]

    There was a Young Lady of Parma,
    Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer: 
    When they said, “Are you dumb?” she merely said, “Hum!”
    That provoking Young Lady of Parma.

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Person of Sparta,
    Who had twenty-five sons and one “darter;”
    He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
    That wonderful Person of Sparta.

    [Illustration]

    There was an Old Man on whose nose
    Most birds of the air could repose;
    But they all flew away at the closing of day,
    Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.