Like an awakened conscience, the sea was moaning
and tossing,
Beating remorseful and loud the mutable sands of the
sea-shore.
Fierce in his soul was the struggle and tumult of
passions contending;
Love triumphant and crowned, and friendship wounded
and bleeding,
Passionate cries of desire, and importunate pleadings
of duty!
“Is it my fault,” he said, “that
the maiden has chosen between us?
Is it my fault that he failed,—my fault
that I am the victor?”
Then within him there thundered a voice, like the
voice of the Prophet:
“It hath displeased the Lord!”—and
he thought of David’s transgression,
Bathsheba’s beautiful face, and his friend in
the front of the battle!
Shame and confusion of guilt, and abasement and self-condemnation,
Overwhelmed him at once; and he cried in the deepest
contrition:
“It hath displeased the Lord! It is the
temptation of Satan!”
Then, uplifting his head, he looked at the sea,
and beheld there
Dimly the shadowy form of the Mayflower riding at
anchor,
Rocked on the rising tide, and ready to sail on the
morrow;
Heard the voices of men through the mist, the rattle
of cordage
Thrown on the deck, the shouts of the mate, and the
sailors’ “Ay, ay, Sir!”
Clear and distinct, but not loud, in the dripping
air of the twilight.
Still for a moment he stood, and listened, and stared
at the vessel,
Then went hurriedly on, as one who, seeing a phantom,
Stops, then quickens his pace, and follows the beckoning
shadow.
“Yes, it is plain to me now,” he murmured;
“the hand of the Lord is
Leading me out of the land of darkness, the bondage
of error,
Through the sea, that shall lift the walls of its
waters around me,
Hiding me, cutting me off, from the cruel thoughts
that pursue me.
Back will I go o’er the ocean, this dreary land
will abandon,
Her whom I may not love, and him whom my heart has
offended.
Better to be in my grave in the green old churchyard
in England,
Close by my mother’s side, and among the dust
of my kindred;
Better be dead and forgotten, than living in shame
and dishonor!
Sacred and safe and unseen, in the dark of the narrow
chamber
With me my secret shall lie, like a buried jewel that
glimmers
Bright on the hand that is dust, in the chambers of
silence and darkness,—
Yes, as the marriage ring of the great espousal hereafter!”
Thus as he spake, he turned, in the strength of
his strong resolution,
Leaving behind him the shore, and hurried along in
the twilight,
Through the congenial gloom of the forest silent and
sombre,
Till he beheld the lights in the seven houses of Plymouth,
Shining like seven stars in the dusk and mist of the
evening.
Soon he entered his door, and found the redoubtable
Captain
Sitting alone, and absorbed in the martial pages of
Caesar,
Fighting some great campaign in Hainault or Brabant
or Flanders.
“Long have you been on your errand,” he