By way of a hat he’d
a loaf of Brown Bread,
In the middle of which he
inserted his head;
His Shirt was made up of no
end of dead Mice,
The warmth of whose skins
was quite fluffy and nice;
His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins,
so were his Shoes;
His Stockings were skins,
but it is not known whose;
His Waistcoat and Trowsers
were made of Pork Chops;
His Buttons were Jujubes and
Chocolate Drops;
His Coat was all Pancakes,
with Jam for a border,
And a girdle of Biscuits to
keep it in order;
And he wore over all, as a
screen from bad weather,
A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves
stitched all together.
He had walked a short way,
when he heard a great noise,
Of all sorts of Beasticles,
Birdlings, and Boys;
And from every long street
and dark lane in the town
Beasts, Birdies, and Boys
in a tumult rushed down.
Two Cows and a Calf ate his
Cabbage-leaf Cloak;
Four Apes seized his Girdle,
which vanished like smoke;
Three Kids ate up half of
his Pancaky Coat,
And the tails were devour’d
by an ancient He Goat;
An army of Dogs in a twinkling
tore up his
Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers
to give to their Puppies;
And while they were growling,
and mumbling the Chops,
Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes
and Chocolate Drops.
He tried to run back to his
house, but in vain,
For scores of fat Pigs came
again and again:
They rushed out of stables
and hovels and doors;
They tore off his stockings,
his shoes, and his drawers;
And now from the housetops
with screechings descend
Striped, spotted, white, black,
and gray Cats without end:
They jumped on his shoulders
and knocked off his hat,
When Crows, Ducks, and Hens
made a mincemeat of that;
They speedily flew at his
sleeves in a trice,
And utterly tore up his Shirt
of dead Mice;
They swallowed the last of
his Shirt with a squall,—
Whereon he ran home with no
clothes on at all.
And he said to himself, as
he bolted the door,
“I will not wear a similar
dress any more,
Any more, any more, any more,
never more!”
MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
I.
Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
Climbed to the top of a wall.
And they sate to watch the sunset sky,
And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,
And the Biscuit Buffalo call.
They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,
And both were as happy as happy could be,
Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,—
“Oh! W! X! Y!
Z!
It has just come into my head,
Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
II.
“Suppose we should fall down
flumpetty,
Just like pieces of stone,
On to the thorns, or into the moat,
What would become of your new green coat?
And might you not break a bone?
It never occurred to me before,
That perhaps we shall never go down any more!”
And Mrs. Discobbolos said,
“Oh! W! X! Y!
Z!
What put it into your head
To climb up this wall, my own
Darling Mr. Discobbolos?”