The Tatler, Volume 1, 1899 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 475 pages of information about The Tatler, Volume 1, 1899.

The Tatler, Volume 1, 1899 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 475 pages of information about The Tatler, Volume 1, 1899.
angels; and, Mr. Bickerstaff, I am to acquaint you, that I am to be yours for some time to come; it being our orders to vary our stations, and sometimes to have one patient under our protection, and sometimes another, with a power of assuming what shape we please, to ensnare our wards into their own good.  I have of late been upon such hard duty, and know you have so much work for me, that I think fit to appear to you face to face, to desire you would give me as little occasion for vigilance as you can.”  “Sir,” said I, “it will be a great instruction to me in my behaviour, if you please to give me some account of your late employments, and what hardships or satisfactions you have had in them, that I may govern myself accordingly.”  He answered:  “To give you an example of the drudgery we go through, I will entertain you only with my three last stations:  I was on the 1st of April last, put to mortify a great beauty, with whom I was a week; from her I went to a common swearer, and have been last with a gamester.  When I first came to my lady, I found my great work was to guard well her eyes and ears; but her flatterers were so numerous, and the house, after the modern way, so full of looking-glasses, that I seldom had her safe but in her sleep.  Whenever we went abroad, we were surrounded by an army of enemies:  when a well-made man appeared, he was sure to have a side-glance of observation:  if a disagreeable fellow, he had a full face, out of mere inclination to conquests.  But at the close of the evening, on the sixth of the last month, my ward was sitting on a couch, reading Ovid’s ‘Epistles’; and as she came to this line of Helen to Paris,

    She half consents who silently denies;[191]

entered Philander,[192] who is the most skilful of all men in an address to women.  He is arrived at the perfection of that art which gains them, which is, to talk like a very miserable man, but look like a very happy one.  I saw Dictinna blush at his entrance, which gave me the alarm; but he immediately said something so agreeable on her being at study, and the novelty of finding a lady employed in so grave a manner, that he on a sudden became very familiarly a man of no consequence; and in an instant laid all her suspicions of his skill asleep, as he almost had done mine, till I observed him very dangerously turn his discourse upon the elegance of her dress, and her judgment in the choice of that very pretty mourning.  Having had women before under my care, I trembled at the apprehension of a man of sense, who could talk upon trifles, and resolved to stick to my post with all the circumspection imaginable.  In short, I prepossessed her against all he could say to the advantage of her dress and person; but he turned again the discourse, where I found I had no power over her, on the abusing her friends and acquaintance.  He allowed indeed, that Flora had a little beauty, and a great deal of wit; but then she was so ungainly in her behaviour, and such a laughing hoyden—­Pastorella

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The Tatler, Volume 1, 1899 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.