of Manners,[88] in their severity towards plays, but must allow that a good play acted before a well-bred audience, must raise very proper incitements to good behaviour, and be the most quick and most prevailing method of giving young people a turn of sense and breeding.  But as I have set up for a weekly historian, I resolve to be a faithful one; and therefore take this public occasion to admonish a young nobleman, who came flustered into the box last night, and let him know, how much all his friends were out of countenance for him.  The women sat in terror of hearing something that should shock their modesty, and all the gentlemen in as much pain, out of compassion to the ladies, and perhaps resentment for the indignity which was offered in coming into their presence in so disrespectful a manner.  Wine made him say nothing that was rude, therefore he is forgiven, upon condition he will never hazard his offending more in this kind.  As I just now hinted, I own myself of the Society for Reformation of Manners.  We have lower instruments than those of the family of Bickerstaff, for punishing great crimes, and exposing the abandoned.  Therefore, as I design to have notices from all public assemblies, I shall take upon me only indecorums, improprieties, and negligences, in such as should give us better examples.  After this declaration, if a fine lady thinks fit to giggle at church, or a great beau come in drunk to a play, either shall be sure to hear of it in my ensuing paper:  for merely as a well-bred man, I cannot bear these enormities.

After the play, we naturally stroll to this coffee-house, in hopes of meeting some new poem, or other entertainment, among the men of wit and pleasure, where there is a dearth at present.  But it is wonderful there should be so few writers, when the art is become merely mechanic, and men may make themselves great that way, by as certain and infallible rules, as you may be a joiner or a mason.  There happens a good instance of this, in what the hawker just now has offered to sale; to wit, “Instructions to Vanderbank; a Sequel to the Advice to the Poets:  A Poem, occasioned by the Glorious Success of her Majesty’s Arms, under the Command of the Duke of Marlborough, the last Year in Flanders."[89] Here you are to understand, that the author finding the poets would not take his advice, he troubles himself no more about them; but has met with one Vanderbank,[90] who works in arras, and makes very good tapestry hangings.  Therefore, in order to celebrate the hero of the age, he claps me together all that can be said of a man that makes hangings, as: 

Then, artist, who dost Nature’s face express In silk and gold, and scenes of action dress; Dost figured arras animated leave, Spin a bright story, or a passion weave By mingling threads; canst mingle shade and light, Delineate triumphs, or describe a fight.

Well, what shall this workman do?  Why, to show how great an hero the poet intends, he provides him a very good horse: