measure his religion by the severity with which he reproved transgressors.  His lordship several times attempted to make all the inhabitants of Trimmerstone go to church twice every Sunday, except his own cook.  But in this his lordship could not succeed, and indeed it was well for him that he could not; for if he had, the church would have been so crowded that he could not have enjoyed a great, large, lined, stuffed, padded, carpeted pew for himself.

In another portion of the MIRROR we have quoted half a dozen of the author’s amenities just to show the reader that in depicting the follies of fashionable life, there is less fiddle-faddle—­less rank than talent—­and more sense than in many other chronicles of the ton.

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SPIRIT OF THE

Public Journals.

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MAXIMS OF JOHN BULLISM.

When you travel in a stage-coach, make all the passengers, both inside and outside, fully acquainted with your name, business, and objects in travelling, before five minutes have elapsed.  Among the rest, be sure you give them to think you are a man of property, and the personal friend of at least half-a-dozen nobles or members of parliament.  If in trade, inform them you have something very handsome in the three per cents., and live on terms of perfect familiarity with the great Jew.

Honesty is the best and most profitable policy in the long run, but there are a thousand exceptions to this rule in private practice.

Do no charity by stealth; it is never repaid in this world to any advantage; do it openly, and there are chances of its returning cent per cent.

You may keep a running horse, or two, though you are a magistrate sworn to put down gambling:  you need not bet upon the race-course yourself.  You may subscribe to Fishmongers’ Hall, and go there without throwing the dice.  You may share the profits of a roulette table, without venturing your luck.  It is strange that vulgar understandings cannot discriminate in these matters!

When you have made up your mind finally to do any thing, ask the advice of your friend about it.  The act of consultation will please him, and you will be none the worse.

Human happiness is more or less complete in a ratio with successful pecuniary accumulation.

If you enter a drawing-room before dinner a little time too early, and find yourself vis-a-vis with an unlucky visiter as forlorn as yourself, do not utter a word.  The chances are, nine out of ten, he will not speak first, that is, if he be a true Briton.  Stare at him as hard as you can.

If you meet a lady in society, old or young, married or single, who equals you in argument, or rises superior to the thousand and one automatons disgorged monthly from fashionable boarding-schools, report her a bas bleu to your male acquaintances, and warn her own sex to shun her.