Five nothings in five plates of delf. 
  Thus for a week the farce went on;
When, all her country savings gone,
She fell into her former scene,
Small beer, a herring, and the Dean. 
  Thus far in jest:  though now, I fear,
You think my jesting too severe;
But poets, when a hint is new,
Regard not whether false or true: 
Yet raillery gives no offence,
Where truth has not the least pretence;
Nor can be more securely placed
Than on a nymph of Stella’s taste. 
I must confess your wine and vittle
I was too hard upon a little: 
Your table neat, your linen fine;
And, though in miniature, you shine: 
Yet, when you sigh to leave Wood Park,
The scene, the welcome, and the spark,
To languish in this odious town,
And pull your haughty stomach down,
We think you quite mistake the case,
The virtue lies not in the place: 
For though my raillery were true,
A cottage is Wood Park with you.

[Footnote 1:  Horat., “Epist.,” i, 18, 31.—­W.  E. B.]

[Footnote 2:  In its proper sense—­to pick at table, to feed squeamishly. 
  “With entremets to piddle with at hand.” 
BYRON, Don Juan.—­W.  E. B.]

[Footnote 3:  The constant companion of Stella.]

[Footnote 4:  Where the two ladies lodged.]

A NEW YEAR’S GIFT FOR BEC [1] 1723-4

Returning Janus[2] now prepares,
For Bec, a new supply of cares,
Sent in a bag to Dr. Swift,
Who thus displays the new-year’s gift. 
  First, this large parcel brings you tidings
Of our good Dean’s eternal chidings;
Of Nelly’s pertness, Robin’s leasings,
And Sheridan’s perpetual teazings. 
This box is cramm’d on every side
With Stella’s magisterial pride. 
Behold a cage with sparrows fill’d,
First to be fondled, then be kill’d. 
Now to this hamper I invite you,
With six imagined cares to fright you. 
Here in this bundle Janus sends
Concerns by thousands for your friends. 
And here’s a pair of leathern pokes,
To hold your cares for other folks. 
Here from this barrel you may broach
A peck of troubles for a coach. 
This ball of wax your ears will darken,
Still to be curious, never hearken. 
Lest you the town may have less trouble in
Bring all your Quilca’s [3] cares to Dublin,
For which he sends this empty sack;
And so take all upon your back.

[Footnote 1:  Mrs. Rebecca Dingley, Stella’s friend and companion.]

[Footnote 2:  The sun god represented with two faces, one in front, and one behind, to whom the new year was sacred.—­W.  E. B.]

[Footnote 3:  Country-house of Dr. Sheridan.]

DINGLEY AND BRENT[1] A SONG

To the tune of “Ye Commons and Peers.”

      Dingley and Brent,
      Wherever they went,
Ne’er minded a word that was spoken;
      Whatever was said,
      They ne’er troubled their head,
But laugh’d at their own silly joking.