I had gone from a comparatively small school to one of the largest of American universities the change was great and the revelations it brought me frequently humiliating.  I was lonesome, home-sick, and my bump of self-esteem was woefully bruised; and not unnaturally I soon began to seek a partial solace in day-dreams and masturbation.  After I had become somewhat adapted to my new environment I indulged less frequently in either, and from that time to the present I have masturbated very irregularly, sometimes but little and again to excess.

Not long after I came to this place I met a young lady with whom I soon became quite intimate.  For over a year our friendship was strictly platonic and then swung suddenly around to a sexual basis.  We were ardent lovers for a few weeks, after which I tired of the game as I had before in other cases, and broke off all relations with her as abruptly as was possible.  Since then I have almost wholly withdrawn from the society and companionship of women and have almost entirely lost whatever tact and assurance I once possessed in their company.  Things pertaining to sexual life have interested me rather more than less, but have occupied my attention much less exclusively than before this episode.  Though I have never intended to marry, my breaking off relations with this girl affected me much.  At any rate it marked an abrupt change in the character of my sexual experiences.  The sexual impulse seems to have lost its power to rouse me to action.  Hitherto I had practiced masturbation always under protest, as it were—­as the only available form of sexual satisfaction; while now I resigned myself to it as all that there was to hope for in that field.  Of course I knew that a little effort or a little money would procure natural satisfaction of my sexual needs, but I also knew that I would never, under any ordinary circumstances, put forth the necessary effort, and fear of venereal disease has been more than enough to keep me away from houses of prostitution.

Some months ago I refrained from masturbation for a period of about six weeks and watched carefully for any change in my health or spirits, but noticed none at all.  The only impulse to masturbate was occasioned by fits of restlessness accompanied by erections and a mildly pleasurable feeling of fullness in the penis and scrotum.  I think that over 75 per cent, of my acts of masturbation are provoked by these fits of restlessness and are unaccompanied by fancy images, erotic thoughts, lustful desires, or marked pleasure.  At other times the act is occasioned by erotic thoughts and images, and is accompanied by a considerable degree of lustful pleasure which, however, is never so intense as in my earlier experiences and has steadily decreased from the first.  Usually the orgasm is accompanied by a strong contraction of all the voluntary muscles, particularly the extensors, followed by a slight giddiness and slight feeling