“Surely now, I thought, that I had Christ’s aid, I shall be able to break off my habit of self-abuse that had been the curse of my youth.  What was my horror and dismay to find that, when the mood came on me next, I went down the same as ever.  And after all my suffering and dread and fear of fits!  What could I do?  Was I mad, or what?  I was really frightened at my helplessness in the matter and decided on a course of conduct that ultimately brought me past this danger to better health and comparative happiness.  I said to myself that there is always a certain amount of preliminary thought and dalliance before I do this deed; doubtless this it is that renders me incapable of resisting.  I decided, therefore, never to let my thoughts commence to dwell on lustful things, but to think of something else on the first intimation of their appearance in my mind.  I rigorously followed this rule; and it proved successful, and I recommend it to others in the same predicament as myself.  After suffering weeks and months of dread and illness once more, falling away in flesh and turning yellow, I gradually mended a little.  I had a better color and tone, and was something like other young men, barring a strange alternate exaltation and depression.  Even this gradually became less noticeable, and my moods more even and reliable.”

FOOTNOTES: 

[219] My Christian faith is of a somewhat nonemotional, intellectual type, with a considerable element of agnostic reserve.

[220] On having connection with my wife I frequently exhibit sufficient sexual power to produce orgasm in her; but on occasion, especially during the first year or so of married life, I have been unable to do this, owing to the too rapid action of the reflexes in myself, and have even, now and again, had emissions ante portam.

INDEX OF AUTHORS.

Adachi
Adam, Madame
Adler
AElian
Allbutt, Gifford
Allen, Grant
Allin, A.
Alrutz
Andree
Anselm, St.
Arbuthnot
Ariosto
Aristaenetus
Aristophanes
Aristotle
Athenaeus
Aubert
Audeoud
Avicenna
Ayrton

Bacarisse
Backhouse
Bain, A.
Baker, Sir S.
Baelz

Baschet, Armand
Batchelor, J.
Baudelaire
Bazan, Pardo
Beatson
Beauregard
Bendix
Benedikt
Bernard, L.
Bernardin de St. Pierre
Bianchi, L.
Bierent
Binet
Bloch, A.G. 
Bloch, I.
Boccaccio
Bollinger
Borel
Botallus
Brantome
Breitenstein
Brisay, Marquis de
Bronson
Broune, R.
Brown, H.
Brunton, Sir Lauder
Buecher
Buckman, S.S. 
Bulkley
Bullen, F. St. John
Burckhardt
Burdach
Burton, Sir R.
Burton, R.