“Next morning, when she came up to my bedroom to call me, I kissed and embraced her; she allowed me to take liberties, and, reassuring her by saying I would use a preventive, I had intercourse with her.  She flinched somewhat.  She then told me she was at her period and that she had never had intercourse with a man before.

“During the next few weeks I found her an adept pupil, though always shy and undemonstrative.  I took her to a hotel, and experienced the intensest pleasure I had ever had in undressing her.  I had lately heard about cunnilingus.  I now did it to her.  I soon found I experienced very great pleasure in this, as did she. (I had attempted it with my wife, but found it disgusted me.) I also had intercourse per anum. (This again was an act I had heard about, but had never been able to regard as pleasurable.  But books I had been reading stated it was most pleasant both to man and woman.) She resisted at first, finding it hurt her much; it excited me greatly; and when I had done it in this way several times she herself seemed to like it, especially if I kept my hand on her clitoris at the same time.

“My relations with the housemaid, with whom I cannot pretend that I was in love, were only put an end to by satiety, and when I went away for my holidays I was utterly exhausted.  This was, however, only the first of a series of relationships, at least one of which deeply stirred my emotional nature.  These experiences, however, it is unnecessary to detail.  There have also been occasional homosexual episodes.

“I think I am now in a much healthier condition than I have been for some years. (I assume that it is not healthy for all one’s thoughts to be always occupied on sexual subjects.) The conclusion I come to is that I can live a normal, healthy life, devoting my thoughts to my work, and finding pleasure in friendship, in my children, in reading, and in other sources of amusement, as long as I can have occasional relations with a young girl—­i.e., about once a week.  But if this outlet for my sexual emotions is stopped sexual thoughts obsess my brain; I become both useless and miserable.

“I have never regretted my marriage.  Not only do I feel that life without a wife and home and children would be miserable, but I entertain feelings of great affection toward my wife.  We are well suited to one another; she is a woman of character and intelligence; she looks after my home well, is a sensible and devoted mother, and understands me.  I have never met a woman I would have sooner married.  We have many tastes and likings in common, and—­what is not possible with most women—­I can, as a rule, speak to her about my feelings and find a listener who understands.

“On the other hand, all passion and sentiment have died out.  It seems to me that this is inevitable.  Perhaps it is a good