myself afterward.  I told the man I was doing it and he expressed surprise I had not known about it before he told me.  He warned me to stop doing it or it would injure my health.  I pretended later that I had stopped doing it.

    “I practiced solitary masturbation for some months.  At first the
    semen was small in amount and watery.

“I had not at this time ever succeeded in drawing the foreskin below the ‘corona.’  After masturbation I would sometimes feel local pain in the penis, sometimes pains in the testicles, and generally a feeling of shame, but not, I think, any lassitude.  The shame was a vague sense of discomfort at having done what I knew others would regard as dirty.  I also experienced fears that I was injuring my health.

“It was not long before I found other boys at the preparatory school with whom I talked of sexual things and in some cases proceeded to acts.  The boys were between the ages of 9 and 14; they left at 14 or 15 for the public schools.  We slept in bedrooms—­several in one room.

“There was no general conversation on sexual matters.  Few of the boys knew anything about things—­perhaps 7 or 8 out of 40.  Before describing my experiences at the school I may mention that I cannot remember having at this period any wish to experience heterosexual intercourse; I knew as yet nothing of homosexual practices; and I did not have, except in one case, any love or affection for any of the boys.

“One night, in my bedroom—­there were about six of us—­we were talking till rather late.  My recollection commences with being aware that all the boys were asleep except myself and one other, P. (the son of a clergyman), who was in a bed at exactly the opposite end of the room.  I suppose we must have been talking about this sort of thing, for I vividly remember having an erection, and suddenly—­as if by premonition—­getting out of my bed, and, with heart beating, going softly over to P.’s bed.  He exhibited no surprise at my presence; a few whispered words took place; I placed my hand on his penis, and found he had an erection.  I started masturbating him, but he said he had just finished.  I then suggested, getting into bed with him. (I had never heard at that time of such a thing being done, the idea arose spontaneously.) He said it was not safe, and placed his hand on my penis, I think with the object of satisfying and getting rid of me.  He masturbated me till the orgasm occurred.

    “I had no further relations with him, except on one occasion,
    shortly afterward, when one day, in the w.c. he asked me to
    masturbate him.  I did so.  He did not offer to do the same to me.