This soon wore off as I came to a realization of the true professional spirit and attitude toward all patients, and, needless to say, has now become a matter of the utmost indifference to me.

“From 19 to 22 I attended a professional school in a large city, remote from my home, where I was an utter stranger.  During these years I devoted myself to my professional studies and to music with much diligence.  I took an active part in all student life and problems save only that of the ‘eternal feminine.’

“Frequently I have been out with a crowd of ‘the boys’ when they headed for a brothel, and have been the only one to turn back or to remain on the sidewalk as the door closed behind my last companion.  I say this not in self-praise, but in the same spirit of accuracy which has prompted me to put down everything concerning this greatest mystery of our natures as I have experienced it and worked it out.

“It was during these three years at school that I placed upon myself the most stringent and effective curbs to my sex nature.  I somehow never could ‘get my own consent’ to go to a brothel or stay with a ‘soiled dove,’ for I had by this time firmly resolved that I would bring to my wife, whoever she might turn out to be, a clean body at least.  I limited myself in my autoexcitement to one emission a week and on one or two occasions went two weeks without inducing an emission.  Spontaneous nocturnal emissions were quite common during these years.  I cannot state just how frequent they were, but perhaps one a week would be a fair average.

“Shortly after graduation at the age of 22 I became engaged to the woman who is now my wife. (She was 17 at the time of our engagement, brunette, well developed, and with a wisdom and charm that have held me a willing captive for ten years and no prospect of escape!)

“With our engagement began for each of us that divine and mysterious unfolding of the nature of one to the nature of the other.  Our engagement lasted two years and a half and, ignorant as we both were, I am sure that it was none too long.  Never shall I forget the surprise I felt—­to say nothing of the delight—­when I discovered that my sweetheart was as anxious to find out the uttermost facts about me as I was to explore the divine mystery of her sweet body.

“We lived in different towns and I used to spend Sundays at her home.  I slept in a room adjoining that occupied by my betrothed and a friend.  There was a transom with clear glass over the door which connected these two rooms, and to have stood upon the foot of the bed and looked through this transom would have been the easiest thing in the world, and was such an opportunity as I would have given years of my life to have obtained in my adolescence; but now that the chance was afforded me to freely spy upon the chamber of my future bride my soul revolted,