particularly, often not at all, pleasurable, and this
was followed by a single thrill of pleasure that
extended all over my little body. The curious
thing was, however, that there seemed to be no
limit to the number of times I could consecutively
produce this sensation. My recollection is
perfectly clear of how I would lie in bed of a
morning and thus excite myself time after time.
As I grew older this condition, of course, changed.
Masturbation was not a consuming passion with me
at this or any other time. I enjoyed it and
felt that in it I had a means of entertainment
when other sources of enjoyment were not at hand.
“By the time I was 6 or 7 I had figured out the difference in sex in animals and suspected that ‘all was not as it should be’ in some portions of a girl’s anatomy. This suspicion was suddenly confirmed one never-to-be-forgotten morning, when I induced my dearest playmate, a little girl, to urinate in my presence. I was more thunderstruck than excited over this discovery, and it led to no results in any other way, nor did we ever again unveil ourselves to each other. At this time I began to learn from the older boys the pitiful, childish vulgarities and common terms of sex, and to invent and exchange rhymes and stories that were pathetic in their attempts at vulgarity.
“At the age of 11 a buxom servant-girl threw out some vague hints to me,—I was very tall for my age,—and tried to induce me to take liberties with her, at least to the extent of telling her vulgar stories, but I would not rise to the lure. I believe that the thing which held me in check was fear of discovery by my parents and the consequent humiliation. A short time previous to this my father had enlightened me as to the means and manner of reproduction and had encouraged me to talk to him and to my mother on such subjects rather than with anyone else. I think this had a great influence for good, as it made me feel that I had some authoritative knowledge and that I was trusted by my parents. My determination not to prove entirely unworthy of their trust has been the anchor that has held through all the storms and temptations of youth and young manhood.
“About the age of puberty I began to long for more realistic experiences and tried through a period of a year or so the disgusting experiments of intercourse with animals, using hens and a cow for this purpose. Details are of no importance, and I spare myself their repetition. My better nature or general mental development soon overcame my desires in this direction, and the practice was abandoned.
“With the dawning of the power of emission I noticed that the adherent foreskin before alluded to, which had never been examined during all these years (as I had discovered that I was different from other boys and so was shy about exposing myself), began to trouble me by being painful during erections. Accordingly I took