developed into deeper affection, and about five years later we were married.  During all this time very little of the physical aspects of love entered into our attachment.  My sweetheart had much of the same shyness as was so pronounced in my own character.  For several years I think that the thought of marriage was never distinctly present in our minds.  A formal betrothal between us did not take place until within a year and a half of our marriage.  Yet each of us had a very distinct understanding of the feelings of the other.  But until our betrothal there were none of even those very innocent expressions of endearment common, I imagine, to all lovers.  I am sure that during this period of our attachment no thought of any physical relations between us was ever in my mind; or, at any rate, was promptly banished if it occurred.  Yet all this time my sex desires were very strong and at times became an obsession.  Never, though, were they directed toward my sweetheart.  The first time that we engaged in the endearments and caresses allowed to lovers I became conscious, after a time, of a state of sexual excitement.  I experienced an erection.  It was absolutely reflex; no thought had entered into it.  I was at once overwhelmed with a feeling of shame.  I felt that I had been guilty of unthinkable indecency toward my betrothed.  Then there arose a fear that it might be noticed. (Men at that time wore abominably tight clothing.) As a matter of fact, I now know that there was no real danger of this, for she was absolutely ignorant of the nature of the male sexual organs.  But I made a pretext for withdrawing from the room and tried to adjust my clothing so that no exposure could occur.  I was fearful of coming into close proximity to her again, lest there should be a recurrence of the feeling.  As a matter of fact it did occur a number of times, but my good sense finally suggested the explanation and after a time it ceased to trouble me.  The thought was latent in my mind that sexual excitement was necessarily more or less indecent at all times, and I could not reconcile its manifestation with a pure love.

“I have said that my sexual desire was strong.  Up to the time of marriage it was never gratified in the normal manner.  My esthetic abhorrence of prostitutes continued to prevent its gratification in that manner.  No other opportunity offered.  I am positive that moral considerations did not enter into the matter at all.  I think now that it was strange that the thought that it would be disloyal to my promised wife to have connection with other women did not affect me.  But I am sure that it did not.  I am inclined to think that conscientious scruples very rarely enter into the average young man’s considerations of contemplated sexual relations.

“As the time of my marriage drew near, thoughts of the physical relationship of husband and wife became, of course, more insistent.  The idea of establishing sexual relations was not at