involuntarily micturated.  I was 13 when this happened.  I did it once more with him before I left, this time the other way up, so as to spare him the unpleasantness.  I used to like kissing and hugging the smaller boys, and had a great eye for good looks.  On going home for the holidays I masturbated with my hand out of curiosity to see what happened when the orgasm occurred, and then only did I fully understand the nature of the act.  After this the rush and strangeness of a large public school distracted my attention, but I heard about wet dreams, masturbation, and homosexuality from the other boys, and soon became thoroughly initiated.  I believe the tone of my house, if not of the whole school, was exceptionally bad; though it may only be that I saw more of it because I was attracted by it, and that other schools are the same really.  Things involving certain expulsion if found out were done more or less in public, and I have myself openly got into bed with or masturbated other boys, and on more than one occasion have helped forcibly to masturbate small boys or to hold them while others had connection with them, the idea of the last two acts being that the boy would thereby be seduced and become available for, and willing to perform, homosexuality.  Before I became big enough to have boys myself I masturbated frequently (on one occasion three times in the day), and invariably by lying on my stomach without the use of the hands.  In having connection with other boys I used to do it between the thighs or on the stomach, and I never heard of any other way at that school. Paedicatio would disgust me, and, moreover, would deprive me of the principal pleasure of intercourse, viz., the feeling of lying face to face and stomach to stomach.  Of course, the satisfaction used to be mutual, but, though good-looking, I was never the passive party only, like some small boys who might be called professionals and whom I used to pay for their services.  I went back after I had left and had a boy in the dark whom I had never seen before, having been told that he was all right.  I used to have a very genuine affection for any party to my pleasure, though I took delight in torturing one in particular, but for what reason I cannot say.  For one boy I developed a deep love, which lasted long after we had left school and had ceased all sexual connection.  This love was as strong as anything I have ever felt since.

“I don’t remember whether it was while I was at school or later that I first began again to take a sexual interest in animals.  I used to masturbate a good deal and was always trying to find new ways of doing it and new substances to lie on.  It was while feeling the vulva of a young mare that the brilliant thought struck me of trying to copulate with her, and thus getting the advantage of the soft vagina.  It afforded me great satisfaction and I had an emission, though I did not then, nor at any other time with any