than myself, who has since told me that he was then ‘in love’ with A. and ‘jealous’ of me.  I believe I was really jealous and in love at the time, but cannot remember that anything in the nature of caresses took place between A. and myself.

“Some time later, probably when I was about 9, something led up to B. saying that she was not built like I was, that she had no penis, etc. (I cannot remember my nursery term for penis.) I was incredulous, and demanded to be allowed to see if it was true; this was refused, and I made many plans to gratify my curiosity, such as slipping into her room when she was dressing, tipping up the chair she was sitting in, and trying to suddenly thrust my hand up under her skirts.  I did not succeed in finding out, but have since thought that, although she did not allow me to attain the object of my efforts, the later game caused her pleasurable sensations.  I regard these efforts as being prompted purely by curiosity; I had no feelings of warmth or irritations of the genitals, and I certainly never manipulated them, nor was I, as far as I can judge, an unusually prurient small boy.  B. left when I was about 10, when I went to a preparatory school.

“At 121/2 I was sent to a public school, and was then told by my father the chief facts of sex and warned to avoid masturbation.  My first wet dream took place when I was 14.  Rather before this I had begun to suffer with severe intermittent testicular neuralgia which practically defied all treatment and continued on and off for four or five years, the attacks gradually becoming fewer and less severe.

“When 15, circumstances compelled me to leave school and to live for two years at the seaside with no companions of my own age.  I had, however, the run of a well-stocked library, and fished and collected insects energetically.

“At 16 I made love to the trained nurse attending my mother, but, owing more, I think, to my timidity than to the austerity of her virtue, got no further than kissing.  About this time wet dreams became inconveniently frequent; they would occur three or four times weekly, and resisted the stock remedies.  At 17 I was advised to try connection.  This I did, and found but little pleasure in the act, there being a strong esthetic objection to the ‘love that keeps awake for lure.’

“About this time I found in the United States Pharmacopoeia a remedy for my emissions, which have, however, always remained rather more frequent than those of the average individual, judging from the experience of my friends.  Emissions are generally accompanied by lascivious dreams, but at times take place when I dream that I am hurrying to catch a train, or to micturate against time.

“I have of late years (not noticed till after 20) observed that the dream accompanying emission is shorter; so that, whereas up to, say, 21 I generally performed the whole physiological act