He considers that inversion is natural in his case and that he has a perfect right to gratify his own natural instincts, though he also admits they may be vices.  He has never sought to influence an innocent person toward his own tendencies.

HISTORY XI.—­T.D., knows of nothing abnormal in his ancestry.  His brother has homosexual tendencies, but is also attracted to women.  A sister, who is very religious, states that she has little or no sexual inclinations.  They were all of a dreamy disposition when young, to the disgust of their teachers.  He sent the following account of himself from the University at the age of 20:—­

“When I was a child (before I went to school at 9),” he writes, “I was already of an affectionate disposition, an affection turned readily to either sex.  No boy was the cause of my inclinations, which were quite spontaneous. (No doubt, part of the cause may be found in our social system, by which ladies are rather drawing-room creatures to be treated with distant respect.) When I was 10, at a preparatory school, I first began to form attachments with other boys of my own age, in which I always had regard to physical beauty.  It is this stage, in which the sexual element is latent, that Shelley speaks of as preceding love in ardent natures.

“At 12 I learned masturbation, apparently by instinct, and, I regret to say, practised it to excess for the next seven years, always secretly and with shame, and often with the accompaniment of prurient imaginings which did not prevent my relations with those I loved being of a very spiritual nature.  Masturbation was often practised daily, with bursts of repentance and abstinence, latterly more rarely.  But until I was 15 I really knew nothing of sexual matters, and it was not till I was at least 17 that I was conscious of sexual desire, which I repressed with shame.

“Owing to excessive self-abuse, I am unable to emit except manually, but desire is strong.  I think naked contact would suffice, and in any case intercrural connection. Pedicatio and fellatio I abhor.  I love boys between the ages of 12 and 15; they must be of my own class, refined, and lovable.  I only desire the active masculine part.  I now regard my inclinations as natural and normal to me.  The difficulty is that of leading the other party to regard it as such, besides the young age required and clandestine nature of proceedings necessary.  The moral difficulties of circumstances are so strong that I have little hope of ever gratifying my passion fully.  I have found myself deceived in the character of the boy twice.  The last friendship lasted three years, during which time I only saw him naked two or three times (this caused erection), never touched him pruriently, and only kissed