Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 588 pages of information about Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2.

Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 588 pages of information about Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2.
to see an unusually well-formed young fellow enter a house of assignation with a common woman of the streets.  The sight filled me with the keenest anguish, and the thought that his beauty would soon be at the disposal of a prostitute made me feel as if I were a powerless and unhappy witness to a sacrilege.  It may be that my rage for male loveliness is only another outbreaking of the old Platonic mania, for as time goes on I find that I long less for the actual youth before me, and more and more for some ideal, perfect being whose bodily splendor and loving heart are the realities whose reflections only we see in this cave of shadows.  Since the birth and development within me of what, for lack of a better name, I term my homosexualized Patmorean ideal, life has become, in the main, a weary business.  I am not despondent, however, because many things still hold for me a certain interest.  When that interest dies down, as it is wont from time to time, I endeavor to be patient.  God grant that, after the end here, I may be drawn from the shadow, and seemingly vain imaginings into the possession of their never-ending reality hereafter.”
HISTORY X.—­A.H., aged 62.  Belongs to a family which cannot be regarded as healthy, but there is no insanity among near relations.  Father a very virile man of high character and good intelligence, but not sound physical health.  Mother was high-strung and nervous, but possessed of indomitable courage and very affectionate; she lived very happily with her husband.  She became a chronic invalid and died of consumption.  A.H. was a seven months’ child, the third in the family, who were born very rapidly, so that there is only three years difference in the ages of the first and third children.  A.H. believes that one of his brothers, who has never married and prefers men to women, is also inverted, though not to the same degree as himself, and he also suspects that a relation of his mother’s may have been an invert.  Sister, who resembles the father in character, is married, but is spoken of as a woman’s woman rather than a man’s woman.  The family generally are considered proud and reserved, but of superior mental endowment.
In early life A.H. was delicate and his studies were often interrupted by illness.  Though living under happy conditions he was shy and nervous, often depressed.  In later life his health has been up to the average, and he has usually been able to conceal his mental doubts and diffidence.
As a child he played with dolls and made girls his companions until an age when he grew conscious that his conduct was unusual and became ashamed, while his father seemed troubled about him.  He regards himself as having been a very childish child.
His conscious sexual life began between the ages of 8 and 10.  He was playing in the garden when he saw a manservant who had long been with the family, standing at the door of a shed with
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Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.