nor possible for me to love in this world, I began to project my longings into the next.  By birth I am a Roman Catholic, and in spite of a somewhat skeptical temper, manage to remain one by conviction.

“From the doctrines of the Trinity, Incarnation, and Eucharist, I have drawn conclusions which would fill the minds of the average pietist with holy horror; nevertheless I believe that (granting the premises) these conclusions are both logically and theologically defensible.  The Divinity of my fancied paradise resembles in no way the vapid conceptions of Fra Angelico, or the Quartier St. Sulpice.  His physical aspect, at least, would be better represented by some Praxitilean demigod or Flandrin’s naked, brooding boy.

“While these imaginings have caused me considerable moral disquietude, they do not seem wholly reprehensible, because I feel that the chief happiness I would derive by their realization would be mainly from the contemplation of the loved one, rather than from closer joys.

“I possess only a slight knowledge of the history and particulars of erotic mysticism, but it is likely that my notions are neither new nor peculiar, and many utterances of the few mystical writers with whose works I am acquainted seem substantially in accord with my own longings and conclusions.  In endeavoring to find for them some sanction of valid authority, I have always sought corroboration from members of my own sex; hence am less likely to have fashioned my views after those of hypersensitive or hysterical women.

“You will rightly infer that it is difficult for me to say exactly how I regard (morally) the homosexual tendency.  Of this much, however, I am certain, that, even, if it were possible, I would not exchange my inverted nature for a normal one.  I suspect that the sexual emotions and even inverted ones have a more subtle significance than is generally attributed to them; but modern moralists either fight shy of transcendental interpretations or see none, and I am ignorant and unable to solve the mystery these feelings seem to imply.

“Patmore speaks boldly enough, in his way, and Lacordaire has hinted at things, but in a very guarded manner.  I have neither the ability nor opportunity to study what the mystics of the Middle Ages have to say along these lines, and, besides, the medieval way of looking at things is not congenial to me.  The chief characteristic of my tendency is an overpowering admiration for male beauty, and in this I am more akin to the Greeks.

“I have absolutely no words to tell you how powerfully such beauty affects me.  Moral and intellectual worth is, I know, of greater value, but physical beauty I see more clearly, and it appears to me the most vivid (if not the most perfect) manifestation of the divine.  A little incident may, perhaps, reveal to you my feelings more completely.  Not long ago I happened