“Making my presence known to old friends involved the same information to those who were not friends.  My identity as a journalist became known, and as time passed by it seemed to me as if half the world had heard of my alleged iniquities.  People who have never set eyes on me seem to regard me in the light of a monster of iniquity who ought not to be suffered to exist.  All these outsiders believe that I have committed ‘nameless’ offenses times innumerable and lift up their hands in speechless horror at the audacity of a man who, so situated, dares to appear openly in public, under his own name, and look people in the face.  They have not even the brains to see that this very fearlessness proves the fictitious character of their beliefs.  Next, they believe that if only they could get my dismissal from my journalistic post I should be brought to starvation point.  This up to a year ago was true.  Then an old relative died and left me some property which I sold to invest in an annuity, and thus have just enough to live on quietly, apart from what I may earn.  Under such strange conditions it might be asked whether life was not unendurable.  Frankly speaking, I cannot say that I find it so.  I have in London a few bachelor friends who go with me to theaters, etc.  In the suburbs I have about half a dozen family friends.  Here I meet with pleasant society and a hearty welcome.  I am passionately fond of music, have an excellent piano, and can hear the best concerts in Europe.  I go to all good plays.  I am a good chess player.  Lastly, I am an omnivorous reader.  You will allow that my resources for passing the time are not limited.

    “Of course, I am sorry that I sinned, and wish that I had not
    done so.  But I disclaim any feeling of shame.”

S.W. was the youngest of four children and the only boy.  His father was 40 at his birth, his mother 33.  The father was an intellectual man of weak character, the mother a woman of violent and eccentric temper, with, he believes, strong sexual passions.  S.W. knows of nothing in the family to account for his own abnormal condition.

He is short (five feet five inches), but well built, with strong chest and a powerful voice.  His arms are weak and flabby (feminine, he thinks), but the legs muscular.  As a boy of 14 he could walk forty miles with ease, and he played football till near the age of 45.  He is considered manly in character and tastes, but is easily moved to tears under strong excitement.  There is no information as to the type of man to whom he is attracted.  I may observe, however, that the analytical chemist who first evoked S.W.’s admiration was well known to me some thirty years later, as he was my own teacher in chemistry.  At that time he was an elderly man of attractive appearance and character, sympathetic and winning in manner to an almost feminine extent.