things.  At school I felt I was not liked by the nicer girls and began to associate with girls whom I now believe were immoral, but whom I then supposed did nothing worse than talk in an obscene manner.  I copied their conversation and grew more reckless and uncontrollable.  The principal of the high school I was attending, I learned afterward, said I was the hardest pupil to control she had ever had.  About this time I read a book where a girl was represented as saying she had a ’boy’s soul in a girl’s body.’  The applicability of this to myself struck me at once, and I read the sentence to my mother who disgusted me by appearing shocked.

“During this period I began to fall in love,—­a practice which clung to me until I was nearly 30 years old.  I recall various older women with whom I became much enamored, and one man.  Of these there was only one with whom I became acquainted well enough to show any affection; another was a teacher, and another was a young married woman at whom I used to gaze ardently during an entire church service.  Toward all my women teachers I had a somewhat sentimental attitude.  They stimulated me, while the men gave me a wholly impersonal feeling.  This abnormal sentimentality may have been caused, or at least was increased, by the reading of novels, some of a highly voluptuous nature.  I began to read novels at 7, and from 11 to 14 I absorbed a great many undesirable ones.  This lead to my picturing my future with a lover, fancying myself in romantic scenes and being caressed and embraced.  I had always supposed I should marry.  When about 5 I decided that when I grew up I would marry a certain young man who used to come to our house.  Several years later he married, to my real disappointment.  I had no affection for him, but merely thought he would make a desirable husband.

“During my unhappy adolescence I heard that a former playmate was going to visit at my home.  I began to look forward to the visit with much eagerness and at her arrival was much excited.  I wished to stay alone with her and to caress her, and when we slept together I pressed my body against her in a sensual manner, which act she permitted, but without passion.  I was greatly excited and could scarcely sleep.  This was the first time I had acted in such a way, and after she left I felt shame and dislike for her.  At future meetings there was never the least sensuality; we never referred to the first visit and are still friends, though not intimate.

“A diary which I kept during my fourteenth and fifteenth years is filled with romantic sentiments and endearing terms applied successively to three girls of my own age.  I had but a speaking acquaintance with them, but I was strongly infatuated with all.  One boy was also the object of adoration.

“During my thirteenth year I became for a time very religious and devoted to religious exercises.  This passed and by my fourteenth year