cared little more for the pastimes of boys, and found her favorite amusement in reading, especially adventures and fairy-tales.  She was always quiet, timid, and self-conscious.  The instinct first made its appearance in the latter part of her eighth or the first part of her ninth year.  She was strongly attracted by the face of a teacher who used to appear at a side-window on the second floor of the school-building and ring a bell to summon the children to their classes.  The teacher’s face seemed very beautiful, but sad, and she thought about her continually, though not coming in personal contact with, her.  A year later this teacher was married and left the school, and the impression gradually faded away.  “There was no consciousness of sex at this time,” she wrote; “no knowledge of sexual matters or practices, and the feelings evoked were feelings of pity and compassion and tenderness for a person who seemed to be very sad and very much depressed.  It is this quality or combination of qualities which has always made the appeal in my own case.  I may go on for years in comparative peace, when something may happen, in spite of my busy practical life, to call it all out.”  The next feelings were experienced when, she was about 11 years of age.  A young lady came to visit a next-door neighbor, and made so profound an impression on the child that she was ridiculed by her playmates for preferring to sit in a dark corner on the lawn—­where she might watch this young lady—­rather than to play games.  Being a sensitive child, after this experience she was careful not to reveal her feelings to anyone.  She felt instinctively that in this she was different from others.  Her sense of beauty developed early, but there was always an indefinable feeling of melancholy associated with it.  The twilight, a dark night when the stars shone brightly; these had a very depressing effect upon her, but possessed a strong attraction nevertheless, and pictures appealed to her.  At the age of 12 she fell in love with a schoolmate, two years older than herself, who was absorbed in the boys and never suspected this affection; she wept bitterly because they could not be confirmed at the same time, but feared to appear undignified and sentimental by revealing her feelings.  The face of this friend reminded her of one of Dolce’s Madonnas which she loved.  Later on, at the age of 16, she loved another friend very dearly and devoted herself to her care.  There was a tinge of masculinity among the women of this friend’s family, but it is not clear if she can be termed inverted.  This was the happiest period of Miss M.’s life.  Upon the death of this friend, who had long been in ill health, eight years afterward, she resolved never to let her heart go out to anyone again.

Specific physical gratification plays no part in these relationships.  The physical sexual feelings began to assert themselves at puberty, but not in association with her ideal emotions.