physical expression less urgent.  But it was a love of a distinctly tender kind that was needed to keep the physical from obtruding.  Of that further experience has made me sure.  I am, moreover, now convinced that a mutual uranian love will reach its best results, both spiritual and physical, where there is complete sexual expression.

“Of the character of the sexual dreams I have had, there is not much to be said.  During the period of masochistic tendency, they were masochistic in character; otherwise they have been dreams simply of the naked embrace.  Usually there has been a considerable element of ideal love in the dream.  I have not more than three times at most dreamed of intercourse with one of the opposite sex.  There was only in one case anything that I could call actual emotion in such a dream.  The other dreams have often (not always) been dreams of real yearning, and not at all what I should call merely sensual.

“In the course of time I wanted more freedom to do things in my own way than could be obtained in a public school.  I started a school of my own.  The work was for a good many years very happy.  I loved the boys, and they loved me.  I was active, ardent, and they made a chum of me.  But people got into the way of sending me awkward customers.  I poured out my love on these, I used myself up for them.  Unfortunately (though I was never ‘orthodox’) my Puritanical morality was still strong within me, my views of human psychology were too limited, and I imposed them on the boys.  Some were very devoted; but, as years went by and the proportion of mauvais sujets increased, there tended to be a split in the small camp and one or two boys whom I loved deceived me terribly.  To a man of my temperament this was heart-rending and from then the work was doomed.  Troubles at school went along with troubles at home, and these things contributed to center my affection upon a lad who was with me, and who had given me much trouble.  For some reason or other I went on believing that he would get right.  Deceit was his great difficulty.  He was certainly partly homosexual himself.  Looking back I can see that with a wider and more charitable knowledge I could have dealt more wisely and helpfully with certain homosexual episodes of his.  I am convinced now that mere sweeping condemnation of the physical is not the wholesome way of help.  However, to cut the story short, all seemed at last to go well, and the lad was growing into a young man.  Our love deepened, and we always slept together, but quite ascetically.  Later, when quite in his young manhood he had left school, there was, unfortunately, misunderstandings with his parents, who forbad him to sleep with me.  What followed is of some importance.  Up till then, though certainly his affection seemed ardent, I had observed no sexual signs on his part.  I had been quite frank with him as to mine.  He was then 19, and I thought old enough to have things