and there was no accompaniment of blood.  When the abdomen had been emptied, the incident in which I became an active participant occurred.  I was seized (and the fact that I was overpowered contributed to the agony of delight it afforded me) and was laid between the thighs of my murdered parent; and from there I had presently crawled my way into the evacuated, abdomen.  The act, so far as I can decide of a dream at an age when emission was out of the question, caused in me extreme organic excitement.  At all events, I used afterward definitely to recur to it in the waking moments before sleep for the purpose of gaining a state of erection.  The dream had no outcome; it seemed to reach its goal in the excitement it caused.  I was at that time between 3 and 4 years old. (I have been told that erections occurred when I was only 2 years old.  It was between 3 and 4 that I used to induce, at all events, the sensation of an erection.  But I was nearer 5 when, sitting on my bed and waiting to be dressed, I got an involuntary erection and called my nurse’s attention to it, asking what it meant.  The appearance must, therefore, have been usual to me at that date, but certainly the sensation was not.)

“At that time I was totally ignorant of the conditions, of puberty, which afterward, when I discovered them, so powerfully affected me.  I could not even visualize the private organs of a man; I made no deductions from myself.  The only naked bodies I had seen then—­I judge from circumstances, not from any actual memory of the facts—­were those of my own sisters.  In the waking dreams which I began to construct, though I recurred often to the one already narrated, the goal of my desire was generally to nestle between the thighs or to have my face pressed against the hinder parts of the object of my worship.  But for a time my first dream so engrossed me that I did not indulge in any promiscuity.  Gradually, however, my horizon enlarged, and took in, besides the first mentioned, three others:  a cousin very much my elder, an uncle, and the curate of the parish.

“At this stage I began to invent circumstances for the indulgence of my passion.  One of the earliest was to imagine myself in a tank with my three lovers floating in the water above me.  From this position I visited their limbs in turn; the attraction rested in the thighs and buttocks only.  I fancy this limitation of the charm to the lower parts only lasted until actual experience of a more complete embrace made me as much a lover of the arms and breast; indeed, later I became more emotionally enamored of these parts than of all the rest.  At the beginning of things I simply loved best what my mind could first get hold of.

“Quite early in my experience, when I was not more than 5, I awoke earlier than usual, and saw my nurse standing in complete nudity, commencing her toilet.  She seemed to me a gross, coarse, and meaningless object; the hair under