“From the time of my earliest imaginings I have always been attached by strength in men and often thought about being carried off by big warriors and living with them in caves and elsewhere.  When about 7 a young man used to show me his penis and handle mine occasionally.  At private boarding school masturbation was fairly frequent and I suppose I was initiated about 12 or 13.  After leaving I occasionally indulged, but nothing happened until I was about 20, except that I was often attracted by strong, well-built young men of good character; a man who was not honest and good-hearted had no attraction.  At 20 I was much attached to a young man of my own age.  He was engaged.  This did not prevent him on one occasion endeavoring playfully and with his brother to obtain access to my person.  I successfully resisted, although if he only had been present I should not have done so, but welcomed the attempt, and I have often regretted I did not let him know this.  But I had a dim idea that my penis was somewhat undeveloped and this made me shy.  Circumstances separated us.  About two years later I was crossing the Channel when I engaged in conversation with a man about eight years older, who was one of our travelling party.  I think the attraction was a case of love at sight, certainly on my side.  A few nights later he had so arranged that we shared a bedroom, and he very soon came over to me and tenderly handled my person.  I reciprocated and I look back all these years to that night with pleasure and no feeling of shame.  On one occasion, about this time, I happened to be sleeping with another young fellow (an office mate) on a holiday, when I awoke and found him handling my penis caressingly.  I gently removed his hand and turned over.  I thought none the less of him, but my body seemed to belong only to myself and the friend I loved.  He was not an urning, I am sure, but we Were often together and I much entered into his interests and felt infinite satisfaction with life, made good progress and many friends.  Our physical intimacy was repeated, he taking the active part in intercrural contact.  Then he married very happily.  Our friendship remains, but circumstances prevent our often meeting, and there is no longer desire on either part.

“For some years I was rather lonely in spite of friends.  I was somewhat attracted to another man, but his superior social position was a defect to me.  Then when about 28 I came in contact with a young man of 24, of the artisan class, but superior in ideals and intelligence to most men.  I loved him at first glance and to this day.  At first it was just friendship, but soon his form, voice, and thoughts entered into my very soul by day and night.  I longed always to be near him, to see him progress and help him if I could.  I would joyfully have given up home, friends, and income, and followed him to the end of the world, preferably an island where we two might at least be the only white men.