to drink, because, being obliged to plunge their
heads in the water, they are at that moment defenceless.
After having considered what passes at Otaheite, I
can see no other natural foundation for modesty.
Love is the miracle of civilization. Among
savage and very barbarous races we find nothing
but physical love of a gross character. It is
modesty that gives to love the aid of imagination,
and in so doing imparts life to it. Modesty
is very early taught to little girls by their
mothers, and with extreme jealousy, one might say,
by esprit de corps. They are watching
in advance over the happiness of the future lover.
To a timid and tender woman there ought to be
no greater torture than to allow herself in the presence
of a man something which she thinks she ought to blush
at. I am convinced that a proud woman would
prefer a thousand deaths. A slight liberty
taken on the tender side by the man she loves
gives a woman a moment of keen pleasure, but if he
has the air of blaming her for it, or only of
not enjoying it with transport, an awful doubt
must be left in her mind. For a woman above
the vulgar level there is, then, everything to gain
by very reserved manners. The play is not
equal. She hazards against a slight pleasure,
or against the advantage of appearing a little amiable,
the danger of biting remorse, and a feeling of shame
which must render even the lover less dear.
An evening passed gaily and thoughtlessly, without
thinking of what comes after, is dearly paid at
this price. The sight of a lover with whom one
fears that one has had this kind of wrong must
become odious for several days. Can one be
surprised at the force of a habit, the slightest
infractions of which are punished with such atrocious
shame? As to the utility of modesty, it is
the mother of love. As to the mechanism of
the feeling, nothing is simpler. The mind is
absorbed in feeling shame instead of being occupied
with desire. Desires are forbidden, and desires
lead to actions. It is evident that every
tender and proud woman—and these two things,
being cause and effect, naturally go together—must
contract habits of coldness which the people whom
she disconcerts call prudery. The power of
modesty is so great that a tender woman betrays herself
with her lover rather by deeds than by words.
The evil of modesty is that it constantly leads
to falsehood.” (Stendhal, De l’Amour,
Chapter XXIV.)
It thus happens that, as Adler remarks (Die Mangelhafte Geschlechtsempfindung des Weibes, p. 133), the sexual impulse in women is fettered by an inhibition which has to be conquered. A thin veil of reticence, shyness, and anxiety is constantly cast anew over a woman’s love, and her wooer, in every act of courtship, has the enjoyment of conquering afresh an oft-won woman.
An interesting testimony to the part played by modesty in effecting the union of the sexes is furnished by the fact—to which attention has often been called—that the